Monday, June 9, 2014


This is a story that really saddens me as a Christian and a wife that we as Christians would camouflage the true identity of Christ. When our lives are a lie, then we make God a lie, which He is not.
 Tia thought she knew him. She had met him a few years ago. He looked humble, God-fearing, reliable and charming. She easily fell into a trance with him. She longed for that one call from him every day.

It was not after a few months of chit-chats that their love culminated into a relationship. She was a lady whose heart yearned for the word of God. She loved God and compromise was not something she would even think of. That was understandable since her family was enrooted in Christianity. As a family, they had gone through a lot of challenges but the word of God was the only constant joy in their lives.

Her father was unmatchable. He was her first love. So every guy was vetted through the qualities he depicted. He loved God and would always say the truth does not go out and come back empty.”We are part of the body of Christ, and in Christ we have eternal life. Nothing can separate us. No power on earth”. He loved the story of Jehoshaphat. The sons of Moab and Ammon came against him with a mighty army but the spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel and said through him “Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.”

She believed her father’s counsel even in the silent loneliness of her tribulations. If she believed everything he had taught her then why does she ache with grief, which swells and spills over her in waves, spreading with a strange, confused anger? Why did she have to be such a fool for Christ?
Tim had hurt her more than once. But she had always forgiven him since that was what the bible taught her. He knew that and he had taken it for granted. He said he was saved but then he had not publicly declared the Lord as His savior but he believed in his heart. Was that really salvation? How can one accept the Lord in the privacy of their heart and not declare it to other people? That really disturbed her but with time she brushed it off.

Tim was an outside child of his father. He always longed for the affection that a father could give to his son but that came very late in his life. His grandparents were his parents. He lived life to prove a point to himself, that he was not a mistake. He started his own business and was doing well. He entered into a relationship with Julie a few months after university. He loved her and always thanked God for her. He had willed to take care of her and protect her. He thought deeply about the family he intended to share with her and prayed that it shall come to pass but he had his doubts which he referred to as red flags in his relationship. She had accused him of insensitivity and that offended him.

In February of that year he had met her for valentine and they shared a meal, at 680 hotel. They shared memories of their wonderful tenth month relationship, he was happy. He wished he could take her home with him, but he stayed true to his gospel of purity. He knew he would marry her one day.

They had been drifting apart, that is what he believed. Julie would not pick up his calls. He was devastated. He decided to go for a 40 day fast of self discovery. He had many issues to mull over among them his relationship; he wanted a third eye perspective. He let her decide whether to walk away or stay with him. He was possessive of her; he needed someone who would love him back. He thought by buying her gifts or taking her to expensive locations he will win her love. He was wrong.

Tim blamed Julie for his misery and hurt. He had seen red flags but he believed love can conquer that. He had literally built his entire life around her, he reminiscent over what they had shared which seemed to be fading away with the wind. He clung onto it; he never entertained the thought of him being a mistake in her life like to his dad. Something that he did without his knowledge.

He decided to do a SWOT analysis among his friends to reevaluate himself, the feedback was devastating. First his girlfriend believed that he never gave people enough space, he literally chokes her space. Others said he was task-oriented forgetting his vital relationships and could easily be manipulated. He decided it was time to turn over new leaf. His fears were more than his faith in God. He yearned for fulfillment everywhere but failed to listen to God. His heart longed for the Lord yet he could not get rid of the thorn in his flesh. Away from the fellowship of the brethren he failed God; he killed Christ and crucified him again and again.
He was a hypocrite.

Julie decided to end her relationship with him. Tim claimed it was a relief on his side because he never really enjoyed the relationship, he said she had so much baggage and too many unresolved issues.
Then he met Maury from church, who told him she cannot hang out with him in a view of dating him. He never sat down to reevaluate himself and his position in the Lord. He wanted so much to belong that he forgot that he was a child of God, he belonged.

The thorn in his flesh was eating him up, he longed for that which is despicable before the Lord. Purity was no longer his gospel. He attended Christian classes, enjoyed fellowship among his fellow Christians but the moment he left he caved in to his old self. He went through a spool of relationships, looking for someone to love him yet He was already loved by Christ.

He drowned himself in work so that his body would be very tired to do anything but fade into slumber. He diminished himself and like a dog he returned to his vomit again and again. He was numb to the Holy Spirit.Beginnning of October that year he finally grieved the Holy Spirit. He had craved for the desires of the flesh, made his body a master that he had finally drowned in it and defiled the body of Christ. He loathed it. He had failed God again. The Sunday sermon rang in his ears, “Who is really in charge of your life?” the pastor had asked the congregation.
End of that year, he met with Tia.She was a wonderful person, full of enthusiasm and loved God. He had started being fond of her. She was a staunch Christian, she had gone through a lot from childhood but her faith in God was amazing. Her mum has always been a pillar in her life. When life was just too much for her to handle, she would separate herself from others, alone with herself.

Bowing her head, she would tighten her hands, emotion swelled.”You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies”, she would whisper brokenly and would weep.”Oh, Father, forgive me. Amend my ways. But gently, Lord, lest you reduce me to nothing. I am afraid. Father, I am so afraid. Preserve me by the strength of your arm”, she would weep. She would open her eyes and opened her hands again.”The Lord provides’” she said softly. She would feel oddly at peace.

Tim was intriguing to her; he was not someone she pictured herself with. Friendship was her own baseline of their relationship. So when he asked her out she accepted with that in mind. It was a very rocky beginning, he was very secretive. He would often entertain other ladies, brush off questions about him being in a relationship with Tia. His faith had dwindled such that there was no mark of Christ left. She prayed but gave up on him. In March of that year, he fell back into defiling his body to feed his desires which he kept secret from her.
He would be go to church every Sunday, participate in different ministries but He knew not of God. She became aware of his affairs later that year and decided to break off the relationship. He pleaded with her through her close friends, mentors and finally she gave him another chance. He loved her, he proposed to her later that year and they got married. They would often argue, had many disagreements which made them drift apart.

He was vile that one day he called her the “worst mistake of his life”. That shattered her to the core. That was the epitome of it. All she wanted was to be the best mother to their kids and wife to her husband but it was becoming harder by the day. He was trying to break her day in day out. He was changing .He attended church, claimed to be a good Christian but his life was not that of Christ. Among his peers he was the best friend but to his family he was again a hypocrite.

Tia was becoming miserable in marriage but prayed that God would change her husband to represent the true meaning of Christianity.
That he will remember the LORD.
This was a very sad story to me because I believe a Christian husband considers his wife very precious and gives her the honor she is due. The first thing a real genuine Christian husband does is cleave. One tie must be broken before another can be established.

The joy of a Christian marriage goes far beyond the smiles. When there is strife and discord in the home, prayer is hindered until peace is restored. When an atmosphere of love and consideration exists, both husband and wife can join together in prayer before the Throne of God and expect some wonderful results and showers of blessings for their home.