Finding A sense of Worth

Feeling a feeling of worthlessness, his shoulders hunched, wearing a heavy coat, Dan walks the dark night street alone; bitterness reflected in his misty eyes.

Faith and hope, once his best friends, have now become strangers! Walking in the darkness, not even a shadow is his companion!

He stumbles and almost falls, blinded by his confusion, he cannot see the
stumbling blocks that are strategically placed to problem his path!

His feet seem heavy, picking them up and putting them down, now seems such a burden!

He reaches into his pocket and takes out the little pocket bible he carries. He begins to read some verses written in this book - this book carries a lot of weight; and now it's carrying his!

UNDISPUTED

   It was not that she'd truly wanted to move, or that she'd necessarily desired to stay in the little village where they'd met; it was more a fear of stagnancy. Five years his younger, she'd loved him since the onset of her twenties. She'd stood ringside and watched blow by blow as he fought men who seemed to come from Satan's forgotten lava pits.

 Each opponent more terrifying than the last. And the fights were bloody and the rounds lasted forever, and her hands were flushed and sweaty the entire time she sat there terrified, but she never let it show. She knew how to put on the face, how to be his companion, there, in the most difficult of places. How to stand and wait for the final bell no matter what.

During one of his fights she'd thought of leaving, of turning and running out of the arena rather than sit and watch him be martyred in front of everyone. In that fight he was dissected, staggered and cut by a younger slim fighter with arms like black lashes. It took everything in her not to cry out; beg the referee to stop the contest. But she didn't. She'd seen him thrash other fighters to the point where their women ran out, crying with eyeliner streaking down their cheeks and she swore she'd never do that to him. She'd stayed. She watched him take his beating. And the crowd cheered. And he went down swinging. It was awful, and she had no idea what kept her from bursting into sobs.

She talked to him about it only once, after he'd retired from the ring. She asked him how he'd gone through with it when he knew the risk.

"You'll never see a knock out punch anyway," he said. "You'll never see it coming."

"Don't ever leave me," he begged everyday,after the gruesome fight. She sat beside him while he was trying to piece together the parts of his life that mattered.The punches, the blackouts, the trophies and her; she'd stayed by him through it all and he knew that no matter how fierce the fight, she would not abandon him.

"I won't," she promised.

But she did. It was a few months later. She didn't come home and he called but she didn't answer the phone.

Just Another Birthday - Casting Crowns | With Lyrics

PRAYER

Trust in Him at all times, you people. Pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8

God does nothing except in response to believing prayer.

John Wesley.

     Prayer is communing with God, pouring your heart to Him and hearing from Him. In prayer, one must give God an opportunity to talk to them. Prayer is a key element in a believer’s life; in prayer, we get to know the mind of God. We were created for communion with God. Through prayer, we have fellowship with Him.

     It is important to understand that prayer is not an option, it is a commandment. Prayer to some is a mere “shopping list”; telling God how, when, why and what to do or what they “need” done. This is a fallacy. Prayer is a longing of the soul for something.

     Through prayer, your vulnerabilities come to the fore. Prayer is a daily admission of your weaknesses and struggles. Prayer must come from a sincere heart; a heart in need, a heart that is broken. It has been said that, “It is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart!!” True prayer cannot be without heart, emotion or feeling.

     Prayer is an appeal. It is a plea; a request. It is an expression of human thoughts, hopes and needs directed towards God. Prayer is the principle thing in the house of God. It is the highest office.

    The Word is made effectual by the practise of prayer because prayer activates and makes factual the Word of God. The course of God and the success of God’s work are determined only via prayer. Prayer energises His word in our lives.

There are different kinds of prayer and rules for prayer. These are:

1.      The prayer of faith for oneself

2.      The prayer of agreement

3.      Spirit led prayer

4.      The prayer of intercession

For each type of prayer there are rules, and if interchanged, there is not much effectiveness.

                                              Pastor

BE THE ONE

Is there a better way to find Mr/Ms Right? . We want to learn some foundational principles from scripture about how to enter and conduct healthy romantic relationships. Some of us are already in a relationship or are married and I pray that this will give you a great opportunity to evaluate your relationship and learn how to grow it. Some of us are not interested in a romantic relationship; we’ve been hurt by one or we’re just not ready. And that’s fine too – I pray you’ll have a chance to learn more about yourself and the type of person God wants you to be.

Read Genesis 29:31-35 [NIV]


Sometimes the bible has more drama than a Mexican soap-opera! I mean imagine you are watching ‘Triumfo de Amor’ (the triumph of love)… this hunk Jacobinho meets beautiful Rachelitta and falls madly in love. But unfortunately, her dad is so obsessed with money that he sets an impossible bride-price: ‘work 7 years for free in my company and then you can marry my baby’ (okay, so maybe it’s not a Mexican soap, it’s a kyuk soap!). Jacobinho is so in love that he willingly accepts the exorbitant terms and gets to work! The years pass by slowly but he never gives up. Seven tough years later, he shows up and reminds his boss of his promise. To his joy, his boss says ‘yes’ and even agrees to pay for the wedding fiesta.

The day finally comes. Now in that culture, you don’t see the brides face because she’s in a veil the whole day. And so you’d go into the honeymoon night without having seen her face. The following morning, the sun comes up; our dude wakes up, reaches out to his bride, and is shocked to discover that the woman next to him is Rachelitta’s older sister. He screams! He’s been conned by his conniving boss! Angrily, he storms out of his tent to confront his dad in law and accuses him of deception.

The older man listens to him calmly and then explains that in their custom, the younger daughter can’t be married before her older sister. It’s just not right! Surely, he should have known that! So he advises him to go back to his bride and finish their honeymoon and then come back next week and do wedding #2, on condition he’d be willing to work another 7 years for Rachelitta! And so young Jacobinho, driven by love for Rachelitta becomes the first person in history to have two weddings and two honeymoons back to back.
The bible clearly says that ‘Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah’.

 Can you imagine being in Leah’s shoes? She had grown up with a squint – the bible refers to her condition as ‘weak eyes’ – and it had probably damaged her self esteem. She had grown up seeing her younger sister being admired by all the neighborhood boys while they treated her like she was just one of the guys. They’d send her with love notes to her sister! And now that she was finally married to the man she most admired, she had to live with the knowledge that her husband felt conned to be with her, and that his heart belonged to another woman. Not a good start to any marriage!

Like any young lady her age, Leah had desires that she expected her man to satisfy. She wanted a knight in shining armor, who would love her, would be attached to her, and who would spend quality time with her, and who would rescue her from low self esteem. She may not have been as beautiful as her sister but she had a competitive advantage that her sister did not have – and that was her ability to get babies. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach but back then (and in many cases even today) having a baby was a powerful way to hook a guy. So she started having babies and named her first son Reuben or ‘he has seen my misery’, saying, ‘It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now’.

 Unfortunately, it didn’t work; she still didn’t feel loved. And so she had another son whom she named Simon or ‘one who hears’ – ‘because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too’. Now Albert Einstein once said that ‘insanity is doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different result each time! Leah was still hoping for a different result! Her insanity continued with baby number three whom she called Levi or ‘attached’, saying, ‘now at last my husband will become attached to me because I have borne him three sons’. What?!

Lest we wonder how crazy this lady was, I want to say that her story is not as uncommon as we might think. As a generation, we’ve grown up believing in the mantra ‘if it feels good, do it!’ Life is about the pursuit of happiness. We look for a spouse who will make us happy or feel good. I’m looking for a husband coz I got needs! I’m looking for a wife because it’s time for me to settle down. And that’s why many in our generation think that you should cohabit before you get married. Sort of like a test drive. I mean what’s wrong with ensuring that the other person actually has what it takes to keep you happy?

The problem however, is that human beings are not cars! Humans perform differently in test conditions than they do in real life. As long as there’s no commitment and the other person can walk out any time, then it’s impossible to be completely vulnerable and be yourself with them. We’ve just too much to lose! So regardless of how long you ‘test’, you’ll never really know what the drive is like until after you’ve signed the papers and left the shop! Many marriages today are breaking after only a few months and people say ‘we’re incompatible’ which is the same as ‘she’s not making me happy’. Even among those who choose not to leave each other, many have given up on their marriages when they realized they just weren’t delivering happiness.

The problem with this thinking is that it’s all about what the other person can give to me. It’s externally focused because it’s about waiting for the right person and not about being the right person. But Leah’s story teaches us that if you operate by that external focus, then your only choice once you finally meet the person of your dreams is manipulation. You’re going to have to keep pushing them to get what you want. And it never ends. Over and over again Leah tried to get satisfaction from her husband but only got disappointed.

Before she realized that only God can satisfy, her heart had been broken into a million pieces. Many of us are moving into relationships looking for our needs to be satisfied. We have transferred the responsibility for our joy/significance/happiness/self esteem to another person. But this is a burden we should never assign to another human being because they’re bound to disappoint.

And this was Leah’s realization. She realized that it didn’t matter how many babies she got, it wouldn’t cause husband to love her more. And so she stopped the insanity, and named her fourth son Judah, which means ‘praise’ saying ‘this time I will praise the LORD’. She realized that the basis of her relationship could not be what she could get out of her husband. She realized he wouldn’t satisfy her anyway; only God could. And so she shifted from trying to manipulate her husband and she turned her focus to God.

Change your focus! It’s only when we turn to God that He helps us to become the person we were meant to be. Sadly in the next chapter, Leah forgot her lesson; her old insecurities crept back and she found herself in a baby race with her only sister. She even stooped as low as paying her sister with food to get extra nights with her husband. It’s apparent that the demons of her past had not been exorcised.

Let me put it starkly… clingy, desperate women tend to attract uncaring, insensitive men… and vice versa! It’s just the way it is! You see, like attracts like. A relationship only compounds the state it found you in. If you are lonely, you’ll marry another lonely person and each of you will demand that the other provide companionship that they’re incapable of giving (that’s why they got married in the first place!) If you’re broken, you’ll marry another broken person and each will demand that the other heal them first.

Unhealthy people attract other unhealthy people, with complimentary dysfunctions. For example, people with addictions tend to be attracted to people who are co-dependent i.e. rescuers who have a need to be needed. And the worst thing is, your spouse will not only not be able to heal you, but they may actually oppose your healing when it starts to happen because your remaining as you are meets their need!

 Two very dependent people each working hard to ensure that their partner never becomes healed because then their need might not be met. And so you find yourself in a situation of two patients with no doctor. Or to put it even better, TWO TICKS NO DOG. That’s a nasty place to be. So here’s what I want to say to you, whether you’re married or single, whether you’re searching or satisfied… Stop searching for the One, be the One.

Are you externally focused? Are you waiting for someone else to satisfy your need for happiness, validation, financial security? Are you already married and praying for the day when your spouse will finally come round and begin to meet your needs? You need to realize that no one else can satisfy our needs except God. And it’s only as he fulfills us and grows us to become who we were created to be, that we can attract other whole and secure people! You need to turn that gaze inward and work on you so that you can be the best you that God created you to be. Stop searching for the One, be the One.

We need to shift focus and deal with our issues and not wait for a Mr/Ms Right to make us perfect. If you don’t take time now to deal with issues from your past, they will only reappear in your relationships at compounded level. If you don’t resolve that issue with your mom, deal with that distance & lack of friendship between your siblings, get healed of that bitterness against your parents… it will only reappear ten times bigger and devour you in your marriage. It doesn’t matter what you put on your list; you will only attract people like you. Only a whole person will attract another whole person. Mr/Mrs Right will not fix you. Relationships are for grownups. Stop searching for the One, be the One.

You see in dating relationships and marriage, God can allow us to meet each other’s needs. But this is only after we have allowed him to meet our need. Without that, you only enter into relationships not to give, but to demand, to manipulate, to get as much from the other person as you possibly can. So ‘stop searching for the One, be the One’.



Courtesy of Mavuno Church

A MATTER OF CUSTOM

And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit into Galilee: and went there went out a fame of Him through all the region round about. And He taught in their synagogues, being glorified of all. And He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up: and, as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day and stood up for the read.

Luke 4:14-16

Custom is second nature and no less powerful

Michel de Montaigne.

      Man is a creature of habit or custom.

      Let us define the word custom:

-          A tradition: something people always do in a particular way

-          A habit/the way somebody usually or routinely behaves in a certain situation.

-          A law: a traditional practice so long established that it has become a force of law.

-          The norm, routine pattern or way of ritual.

*It is important to note that a habit or custom is acquired over a period of time.

     The story of Jephthah and his daughter in Judges 11:30-40 tells a story of a man who made a vow that he regretted greatly. This vow came at a great cost, the price being his daughter. This vow changed the customs of the Israelite people for generations to come.

Customs:

(i)                  May develop consciously/deliberately-Luke 4:14-16

(ii)                May be communal or individual

(iii)               May be developed unconsciously

          You may have a few habits or customs that may have come into your life in any of the three ways above…question is: What shall be said of you? What people say is your custom? Customs must bring impact in your life.

        As a child of God there are customs that you must be identified with. Develop these customs and your life will have definite impact:

1. Prayer and Bible Study: This must a daily practice not just on Sunday mornings. Colossians 4:2, Psalm 119:11
2. Giving: As His child realize that there is no end to the expanse of God’s wealth. No believer should live beyond the poverty line or live to be pitied. When you give, you receive; not just finances but divine ideas, secrets and treasures in His Kingdom, His favour etc. 2 Corinthians 8:1-7
3. Productivity: God has loaded you to be needed and to be a blessing. Productivity is the process of downloading heavenly ideas to make impact. To download greatness-Take a risk. Rise.Shine.Be somebody. Productivity hinges on diligence.
4. Relevance: You must be relevant in your generation doing something that people need. Be diligent in your profession, in your calling and in all you put your hand to doing. Proverbs 22:29
5. Excellence: Though you may not be the only person in the field or work that you are involved in, be a cut above the rest. Be unique. Be you. Be the very best. Be excellent. When people see or work with you there should be a ‘label’ on your forehead that says RESULTS GUARANTEED. Philippians 1:9-10
6. Thanksgiving: Don’t lose your ability to give thanks. Thanksgiving in the life of a believer is a strong indicator of faith. Give Him the praise due Him. Psalm 69:30
7. Change: The most permanent thing in your life should be change! You must be willing to challenge the status quo. Let it be known of you that you are a world changer, a history maker and a trail blazer. Acts 17:5-6

     What shall be said of you? What is your custom?

                                                             Pastor.

DANGERS TO COVENANT RELATIONSHIPS

A son honoureth his father, and a servant his master. If then I be a father, where is Mine honour? And if I be a master, where is the fear of me?saith the Lord of hosts unto you, o priests, who despise My name. And ye say, "Wherein have we despised Thy name."

Malachi 1:6

The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from the dangers of love is hell.

 Anonymous

          Having looked at a wider study in the past three lessons, it is of utmost importance to understand what the dangers to covenant relationships.

          There are pitfalls and signals that could terminate a covenant relationship if not observed with a keen eye and cause harm to one or both parties in the relationship.

The following are some of the dangers that should not be taken lightly when protecting a covenat relationship:

1)     1) Familiarity: It is said that familiarity breeds contempt. The success of any key relationship is ring dependant on honouring one another. When familiarity creeps into a relationship, the ‘wall of respect’ crumble down and within a short while you will realize that the core values that kept the relationship going are no longer important. Accountability ceases, excuses are exchanged for spending quality time together and communication skills are compromised. Familiarity breeds pride in the relationship which usually comes before a fall.

2)     2) Pride: This fuels reactions especially when one is confronted regarding an issue, or when does rebuke comes their way. The Bible says that “where envying and strife is there is confusion and every evil work.”- James 3:16. Pride makes one arrogant and not ready to be corrected. This will kill the relationship if the person on the wrong does not admit they are wrong and humble enough to accept correction.
3)     3) Disloyalty: This is another word for betrayal especially in times of hardship or adversity. The Bible says that a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity – Proverbs 17:17. If one of the parties in this relationship goes against or rather violates the terms of agreement in the covenant relationship, he or she is considered disloyal. It is going against the will and the purpose of the covenant which can result to pain and bitterness between the friends.

4)      4)Unfaithfulness: To truly understand this example, we shall look at the marriage covenant. “The integrity of the upright shall guide them; but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them-Proverbs 11:3. When unfaithfulness permeates a marriage relationship or any covenant relationship, it becomes damaged because vows which are terms that bind the relationship are violated. At the end of all this is pain/resentment. Both parties in this relationship must fight to keep this element away.

5)     5) Offense: We must learn how to respond to offense and not to react. When we react to offense we end up not tackling the issue at its root. Offense comes when we do not handle crisis with wisdom and humility. If we resolve to pursue peace we will find hope and rest in our covenant relationships.

                                                          From Pastor

Furnishing A Small Living Room

The crippled Shell

The man took a slow drag on his cigarette. The ember winked life-red against the warm evening backdrop. He exhaled, thinking about what he had just heard, what she had just told him, breathing out in time with his thoughts. The smoke floated up towards the dim night light.

“So you’re not coming back.” Flat voice.

The woman shook her head. He glanced down at the floor and rubbed the back of his head with his tough rough  hand. The small glass table was the only witness to their conversation, the lounge devoid of other furniture.

He grunted softly and continued. “Well, okay.”

“Okay?” She shifted her weight from one leg to the other.

“Yes, okay.”

She turned to leave, aged wooden boards creaking beneath her slight frame. Just outside the sphere of the room she hesitated, pale fingers caressing the doorframe.

“I can’t, I just can’t.” His gaze rose to the back of her head. She turned, still holding the frame, but couldn’t look at him. “I…” She stopped. “You understand.”

He said nothing. Her eyes traveled rapidly towards his but fell short of a reunion. She exited the room, her skirt hurrying after her, and the man turned to face the shore. He rested his elbows on the weathered wooden railing and stared. Blank eyes took in nothing.

A sudden splash in the water demanded his recognition. A sea animal, shell on its belly, rock in its hands, preparing supper. He watched the diligent animal fix itself a meal. Who would crack his oysters now?
He finished his cigarette, flicked it over the rail. It glowed warm on the sand and he studied at it as he drew another from his breast pocket. He realized that he needed to visit his friend,David, but instead closed his eyes.

 He visualized the house, his house, walked through every room noting every detail and committing it to memory. He opened his eyes and sighed. Sticking the cigarette between his lips and pausing briefly to light, he then hopped over the rail onto the sand. His left foot landed on the first smoldering cigarette and he picked it up in surprise. It burned him a little as he held it on his hand. Discarding the useless filter, he kicked the sand over it and began to walk to the water.

His second cigarette dropped to the sand. The man waded  into the waves and let the water push him. He felt one with the swelling and moving of the waves. He looked around for the sea animal, but couldn’t find it.
Dripping, he walked back up the beach to the house. He went into the house. He spent the rest of his night destroying all of her things.

The gallant gentleman

She turned around on the bed to avoid the light that came from the window. She embraced the cushion she had set aside during her nap and kicked the sheet until releasing her feet from under it.

     "You are awake already." he said, appearing at the door of the bedroom.

     "Almost...." she whispered. She could have slept forever.

     He came in and sat on the edge of the bed. It squeaked.

     "Could you prepare some tea?"

     "Please, put the water on and I'll prepare it."

     "Bad mood?"

     She turned around again towards the light coming from the window. That light reminded her that there was activity out of her bed, out of her house.

     "I am tired."

     "You took a two hour nap."

     She repeated, with a sigh, "I am tired."

     He went to the kitchen and she could hear the noise of the water running into the kettle and the sound of a match lighting. Then, he turned on the television and she heard a dialogue in English and the laughter of a studio audience. Soon after, the kettle began to whistle.

     "The water is ready." he warned.

     She stretched on the bed and then sat-up, still clutching the cushion in her arms. The kettle continued whistling. She pressed the cushion strongly against her chest.

     "Please, turn that off."

     The whistling stopped. Thank heavens, she thought, it was going to drive me crazy. She looked for her slippers under the bed and stood up. She went to the bathroom and washed her face. I should take a shower, she thought. I should take a shower to cry in peace. She walked with heavy steps towards the kitchen. He was watching the talk-show laughing quietly from time to time. "He was a gentleman indeed",she thought.

Fidelity

It is pouring heavily when Julie returns. Outside, it is rain. Inside, it is confusion. Noel is at first happy to see her back safely. Then his happiness turns to anger as she carries on about what an exciting time she had. Finally his anger succumbs to her gentle hugs and love rules their world ...

     Julie shoots out at first light.

     "I've got to see someone urgently, Noel-dear."

    Noel-dear, that is my name now, Noel laughs to himself as he shuffles off to the construction site where he manages to earn a few bucks. On his way into the main yard, he ducks out of the way of a fast-moving four-wheel drive vehicle driven by an expatriate.

Cursing lightly, he looks back to see the driver giggling with a woman with luxuriant hair.

     "No wonder he nearly killed me!" Noel spits out. "Early morning and he's already--"

     His mouth remains open but the words dry up like the water taps of the city. The woman with the expatriate turns momentarily, perhaps to pick up something from the backseat. In that instant, Noel sees clearly the woman for whom he had left his first wife and forsaken his family and people ...

     But he does not see the earthmover in front of him. Neither does he hear its powerful horns. And the driver of the earthmover does not see Noel ...

     By the time someone notices the crushed figure lying by the roadside, a blackening pool of blood has begun to seep into the earth.

FOLLOWING GOD’S WAYS

Now the Lord has said to Abram “Get out of your country, from your family, and from your father’s house, to a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation. I will bless you and make your name great and you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you and I will curse him who curses you and in you shall all the families of the earth be blessed.

Genesis 12:1-3

 Any great man or woman who influenced their generation was a risk taker.

Anonymous.

                 Its incredibly amazing and mind blowing how the Creator of the universe in His unfathomable wisdom can choose someone from an idolatrous background, give them a new identity and make them the envy of their generation.

                 What manner of love is this? Our God can stoop down to the lowly and helpless humanity, impart His nature and character in them and turn them into firebrands who will enforce His will in the earth. 

“..But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise and God has chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty…” – 1^st Corinthians 1:26-28

         This was Abram’s story before he became Abraham (father of many nations). He came from an idol worship culture. This did not limit God’s grace and mercy. God bypassed what surrounded Abram in order to change him into a true worshiper of Yahweh. God does not consult anybody when He wants to bless His people. He goes beyond our limitations to bless us then use us for His glory.

There are many important lessons to learn from the life of Abraham who through obedience to God’s will received God’s blessing, a new identity and became a father of many nations. Jesus Christ descends or rather finds root from this same man.

Anyone who desires to be used of God irrespective of their area of calling needs to observe the following lessons:

a)      You must be willing to forsake the world:

Abraham was asked to get out of his country and to leave his family. This symbolically speaks to us as believers in the Lord Jesus Christ. God expects us to completely forsake the things that we are so accustomed to in order to venture into the unknown (1^st John 2:15-17). We are expected to live as strangers in this world. Why? Because although we live in the world, we are not of this world.

b)      Be ready and willing to heed instructions:

God’s instructions to us will many times not make sense, but our response to them is key. We need to have quick obedience because delayed obedience is disobedience. When God speaks to us reason is never required. Genesis 12:4 says “Abram departed as the Lord had spoken to him.” If we desire to please God and experience His blessings in our lives, we will be required to obey His instructions.

c)      God will bless those who obey:

The blessings that became actualized in Abraham’s life came on the heels of his obedience and the promises God had given him. Abraham was blessed materially and financially. God gave him a son who later bore Jacob (Israel) from whom the seed of the Messiah came from.

Stay sober and expect God to instruct you on what to do concerning your need or situation. Be quick to heed His voice because instructions are the way of life and greatness.

MY FIRST LOVE

   

“Is this a long way?” asked the young mother as she set her foot on the path of life. And the Guide said:

“Yes, and the way is hard, and you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning.”

The young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them, taught them how to pray, reminded them to do their homework. The sun shone on them and the young mother cried.

“Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.”

Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path was sometimes dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her arms. The children said’

“Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near and no harm can come.”

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to her children,

“A little patience and we are there.”

So the children climbed and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms. And with this she gave them strength to face the world, year after year she taught them to hope but most of all unconditional love.

And when they reached the top they said,

“Mother we could not have done it without you.”

Days went on, weeks, months and years. The mother grew old, became little and bent. But her children were tall, strong and walked with courage. And when the mother, when she lay down at night, looked up at stars and said:

“This is a better day than the last; my children have learned so much and now are passing the traits to my grandchildren.”

And when the way became tough for her, they lifted her, gave her strength just as she had given them hers. One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill they saw a shining road and a golden gate flung wide. And the Mother said,

“I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning for my children can walk with dignity and pride, with their heads held high, and so can their children after them”. And the children said,

“You will always walk with us, Mama, even when you have gone through the gates.”

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. They could see her no more.

A mother is more than a memory. She is a living presence. She is the cool hand on your brow when you are not feeling well, she is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, she is your birthday morning. She is the life inside your laughter. And she’s crystallized in every tear drop.

A mother shows through in every emotion-happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, joy- and all the while hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life.

She is the place you came from, and she is the map you follow with every step you take. She is your first love, your friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you.

Not time, not space –not even death!

Happy Mother’s Day.

My Exile

Tonight, things feel different. My stomach refuses to settle, and the storm outside doesn’t show any signs of stopping. I open my eyes slowly and find comfort in the warm eyes of my mother.

“How much further?” I ask.

Her reply comes slowly, and a barely audible whisper,

“Not long now darling, go back to sleep.”

My mind drifts in and out of reality, images of my friends, and my home flash before my eyes. The war at home is cast out of my mind as visions of my brother and I flood through my thoughts. We were collecting coca-cola bottle tops, David and I, not too far away from home. The fields we would walk through were suffocated by weeds, but this was my land and finding just one bottle top would brighten my day and make me forget about the terror that the rest of my people were facing. On this day my brother was feeling extra curious and we adventured on for miles. The land around us gradually turned scarred and black and a feeling of unease had begun to creep up on me. As we continued through the ghostly territory I began to see signs warning us of danger, the hazard signs burning into my mind. David was about twenty metres away from me when it happened. He was jogging backwards, a smile running across his face, when I suddenly spotted the metal explosive half covered in dirt,a grenade. I screamed for him to turn around but it was too late. I loved my brother.

I wake up to my mother holding me tightly, my brother’s last scream still pounding in my ears. These dreams has been plaguing me for months, and my family decided that leaving my home, the place where we all grew up, was the only way to start a new life. My mother looks down at me, I can see the pain in her eyes and I know she wishes that she could steal all my memories of that day away to relieve my suffering. As I begin to drift off to sleep again I am startled awake by the sounds of footsteps and low growls which seem to be coming closer. Suddenly they are upon us, yelling at me in a language I don’t understand. All of this reminds me of my home where bad things happened, the horrors seem to follow me wherever I go.

Everything is grey. The walls are grey, the roof is grey and the floor is grey. This place was not built for happiness; this is not the haven I was told about. I approach a man I met on the way and ask him what is happening. He responds that we in are in trouble. When you come to this county and you don't speak their language you are in a lot of trouble. I don’t understand what I have done wrong... I am only nine years old. How could I cause so much trouble?

It’s dinner time now, we are marched through the hallway and made to sit and eat. I don’t want to eat, I want to find my mother. Looking around the big room I feel like I am on stage performing. Millions of eyes are watching me, watching this little girl move around trying to find her mother. I finally find her, in the corner sitting by herself. She tells me that we are in prison, and not allowed to leave. I am scared, prison is for bad people that do bad things, my mother and I are not bad. The men in grey walk up to us and separate us, taking me back to my room and my mother back to hers.

After what seems like forever my mother and I are together again, eating what these people call food. She tells me that because I am a child, I will be allowed to leave this place but her, and the other family that we came with, will have to stay here for a long time. I begin to cry, where will I go? What will happen to me? The grey men don’t like it when I cry; I get marched down the halls back to my room. The last thing I see is my mother with her head bowed, weeping.

As I walk from the place with the other children, I am unsure of my future. This country was meant to bring happiness to my family, but instead it has taken the last person close to me away from me. The building is now shrinking away behind us and I take one more glance at its grey walls.

 Goodbye my family.I hate goodbyes.

Mystical dad.

The only thing I ever got off my old man was a handwritten birthday card and a doll when I was ten. He'd gone off when I was three and left me and mum and my sister to fend for ourselves. Mum never talks about him but my sister remembers him.

     ‘What was dad like?' I ask.

     She looks at me through dark, sleepy eyes, pushes her braided hair back from her eyes. Her arms are scabbed like she's been shinning up a rusty drainpipe and accidentally slid back down and scraped herself. ‘Whu?'

     ‘I said, what was dad like?'

     She smiles at me, and I assume that she's ignoring me and I should ask her later when she's in the mood.
     Anyhow, the only thing I ever got from him was a birthday card when I was ten. It said Happy Birthday Julie! And then there was a verse inside the card that went:
 

Now you're ten, and how you've grown
It really won't be long
‘Til you're a woman, and fully grown
With your family and independence.

 
     And on the front of the card was a picture, a cartoon, of a little girl wearing a hardhat and watering flowers. But I mean, how would he know I'd grown? To be honest, I was surprised he knew where I was, we moved so often.
 
But the killer was, at the bottom of the card, below the rhyme, he'd added:
 

Remember, no one's got your back
XX. Dad.

 
     I'd studied this card on more than one occasion, trying to work out some depth to what he was telling me. ‘Laura, what was dad like?'
     Three hours later and she's washing up. The dutiful daughter. She looked up a little, thought about my question for a second or two. Then she said, ‘I love him. Still.'
 

Najivunia kuwa Mkenya!

Kenyans were last weekend voted the funniest looking people in Africa. With 48 participating nations in the Annual Most Beautiful People of Africa Awards, held at the Gregor Theater in Bloemfontein SA, Kenya took the last position, dislodging Zambia and reclaiming the title it held in 2000.

It posted 7 points out of a possible 540 points. The top position was taken by Rwanda, followed by Cameroon and then Ethiopia as second runner up. The last three positions were Kenya at 48, Zambia at 47, then Gabon, at 46. The judges said they gave their points based on presentation, physical appearance, grooming, communication and other areas.

Coincidentally this came just a week after an article on Kenyans appeared in the Pretorian Bird. The article, in the entertainment section, claims Kenya has the funniest looking president on earth, and a VP with a strange looking head. It goes on to say that Kikuyu women and Luo men pose the most weird features.

"Women from the Kikuyu community have small legs, totally no figures, and a little exeggerated heads. They lack good behinds and those who have them look like inflated baloons.They are shaped like pyramids turned upside down.A big upper frame and an almost invisible lower bit.

Luo men on the other side have distorted facial features..say big lips and huge noses or should we call them knobs. Kikuyu men are also unproportional, and most of them are stunted. They walk leaning foward. Plus they have long rusty teeth."

"Those from Kisii Districts are small people, the average Kenyan man will stop growing at 5'2"...5'4" tops. Kisii men have mango shaped heads, and bowed legs, a feature also common in in their Luhya counterparts."

He goes on to describe Kaleos as "Funny little pitch black emaciated fellows, raking in millions from the track. However long they'll remain in Europe, their features never improve". "Nandis will have rounded foreheads, and thin, long arms". While occupants at the coast province are said to have "Wide faces, almost like a widescreen telly, especially taitas,and durumas"

"Kenyans do not know the meaning of good grooming" The writer says. "The women hate their dark skins and opt for mercury bleachs which mess them up. The result: A scary (unpigmented)light face, black legs, and a black back". As much as the Kenyan accent, of standard english is admired, "there's too much mothertounge interference, common in Merus, Kisiis, and Kikuyus".

While Luos were pointed out as to be suffering from chronic 'braggitis'. The research funded by the institute of Primate Research at the University of St. Kenkley, also noted that Kenyan men are very marketable in the Kimberely area of SA and parts of the Guateng region. Reason, they are big, hopeless spenders.

Moral lesson, "Be careful dating a Kenyan online." Accepting the Award Ambassador Kinyesi, complained of biased judging. Also present were dignitaries from all around Africa.

Dark,deep secret.

 I walked through the rain, thinking about what her secret is, not caring about anything else. She ignored me for months, left me to wonder what happened.

I tried asking her friends what happened and all they had to say was the same, "I can't tell you". After many months she finally contacted me. I asked her what happened, but all she said was, "I can't tell you". We went on talking normally, but during the whole time I wondered what her secret was.

We said our goodbyes and then went our separate ways. I couldn't sleep or think clearly, so I went for a walk. Walking through the rain, silently crying to myself, tearing my mind apart trying to figure out the secret.

Deep in thought I didn't see the car zooming towards me. When I opened my eyes I could hear shouting and then she was kneeling down beside me, crying. With every bit of strength I had left I asked, "What is your secret?" The last words I heard were, "I can't tell you" and then my eyes closed for the last time.

Smile............

A smile costs nothing, but gives much.

It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.

It takes a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor, but that he can be made rich by it.

A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in business, and is the countersign of friendship.

It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature’s best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone, until it is given away.

Some people are too tired to give you a smile;

Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.

trust in me now by anthony evans

Anthony Evans - The Way You Love Me