Mountains,its time to move

I had a revelation yesterday morning. It was one of those moments when someone says something and the words seem to jump at you in 3-D.

I was watching “The 700 Club” as I always do on weekdays when I’m getting dressed, and they were featuring the testimony of a couple who came to Christ. The two of them had been heavy drug users early in their marriage, and to support their increasingly expensive habit, the husband sold drugs as well. In the process of selling drugs, he was on the road a lot, and began to have affairs. Drugs controlled his life for more than 2 decades.

His wife went to a Christian rehab center to get clean, and began to study the word of God. And she began to pray for her husband. But she did more than pray…she began to “call those things that do not exist as though they do.” She began to call her husband a mighty man of God, even though he was the farthest thing from that. He continued to use drugs and deal. He was finally caught, and sentenced to 15 years in prison. While in prison, He met the Lord, and was completely set free of all his addictions. He was released less than 2 years later.

Today he is precisely what his wife began to call him…a mighty man of God.

That was my revelation…this verse out of Romans:

(as it is written, “A father of many nations have I made you”) in the sight of Him whom he believed, even God, who gives life to the dead and calls the things which do not exist as existing. (Romans 4:17b)

Romans is a very complex book, and packed full of information. It would be easy to read past this. But if God gives us His power to give life to the dead–which He does and has–why then could we not call the things which do not exist as existing? As long as we know that we are praying absolutely within His will, we can boldly call those things into existence.

I often strive in prayer over my children. In a world that is dark and getting darker, I know the influences on them are huge. So my words in prayer are many; it’s as though I don’t want to leave any stones unturned. But yesterday clarity came into my mind. I could simply begin to call my friends mighty women of God in faith, knowing that that is completely within God’s will. And it will be done.

This might seem too simplistic for some people. But here’s the difference between striving in prayer and “calling those things that do not exist as though they do”: the first ”hopes all things,” while the other “believes all things.” The second actually pictures that reality, sees it as God sees it in the future. This, I believe, is the kind of faith that truly pleases God. Because when we call it into existence, we agree with His will and trust in the power He has given us. We truly believe Him. We are expecting His will to be done “on earth as it is in heaven.”

How wonderful it is that God makes it so simple for us. Faith.

“…for truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you.” (Matthew 17:20b)

So look at your mountains differently today. Take faith and tell them to move. And continue to tell them until they do. Because nothing is impossible to you.

Does A Coffee Date Mean FRIEND-LATIONSHIPS?

“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment”. – Mr. Darcy,Pride and Prejudice.

For the past few days, I feel like the process of having our minds be renewed, as well as the rest of us, is being heavily impressed upon me. At church on Sunday, the preacher discussed the importance of using our intellects to dissect and address the doubts that faith can so often bring to the surface. I had a conversation just yesterday with someone who pointed out that so many of our insecurities rest in the fact that our minds and thoughts are not being continuously brought under the lordship of Christ. And now, this idea was brought to my attention when I thought about how one’s imagination (especially for ladies) affects dating and the path to marriage.

Arguably, the fact that there can be so much confusion when it comes to the beginning stages of a relationship, especially within Christian circles, does little to help the situation. Again, because of various books and teachings promoted recently in the Christian community, the process of moving from friend to date is fuzzy and can almost seem intrusive. Take, for example, the coffee date, using two made up examples.

Sheila is a bright, bubbly woman who has a lot of friends within her church and really does seek to honor the Lord in everything she does. Mike is also a strong believer, but he’s quieter and a bit more reflective than Sheila. Sheila and Mike are friends – nothing more. Mike thinks Sheila’s cute, but he doesn’t really see the need to make a move and ruin a good thing. Besides, he’s not quite sure that he’s ”ready” for a relationship. Sheila, on the other hand, thinks Mike’s great and wonders why he just can’t see how great they’d be together! So eventually, they have a wee chat after church one day, and Sheila brings up the book they are reading together, along with a few other friends. She suggests they grab a coffee to discuss it, so Mike agrees. They leave and plan for Saturday, when they go to a local coffee shop, drink coffee latte(at least, Sheila does) and use the guise of their common reading to dig a little deeper into the other person’s thoughts. Mike decides that he should pay for Sheila’s drink, since his mother used to tell him that that’s what good guys do. So Sheila takes the drink and spends the rest of the “date” floating because she’s convinced this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship. And while unassuming Mike is talking about his opinions on how to fight against idolatry, Sheila is imagining their future life together in their hometown, Malindi with two kids. Once their time is over, Mike thinks that it was a great experience – he got to talk to Sheila in a more one-on-one setting, and she didn’t have any expectations at all! He just knows that she understands that it’s just a friends thing, because it’s safer that way. Meanwhile, Sheila gets home and checks her phone every hour just to see if Mike has left a little cutesy text message for her. He never does, and Sheila gets angry. And then hurt. And Mike doesn’t understand why she doesn’t seem as happy to see him when they see each other at church the next day.

Clearly, this is an example of miscommunication in addition to the main issue at hand. However, there’s something deeper going on. Sheila’s expectations are so high for the coffee date that she ascribes her own (at that time, unrealistic) desires for the situation onto Mike, who is oblivious to them and has his own understanding of what’s going on. This speaks a lot to the problem of “friend-lationships” that are going on in the church in full force these days, but that’s for another time. Essentially, there are two ways that the “coffee date” can be turned into a vehicle for mass confusion and dashed expectations.

The first is to assume that the coffee date means more than what it is. But that is dangerous thinking, and will and often does lead to bitterness and resentment towards the unsuspecting other person. Additionally, some people might get nervous by the prospect if they’re not sure if they’re interested in the other person - does their date think that they’re going to automatically want to be in a relationship?! No, I don’t think that should be the case. There should be freedom and openness with these situations; a commitment does not come from just one coffee date, and it is unhealthy to put such high expectations on just one interaction.

The second confusion-enhancing aspect of the “coffee date” is to treat coffee dates as if they are less than what they are. Guys, this probably pertains most to you. If you ask a woman on a date, even if it’s coffee, it’s best to be honest and upfront with your intentions.  

Nothing much but a broken Hallelujah.

It was minutes before their wedding ceremony,Pat wanted to be sure they started their marriage off right, so without seeing the bride before the ceremony, they sat around the corner from one another, held hands and prayed.

Moments before she was to walk down the aisle her soon to be mother in law came in the dressing room where her bridesmaids and her were all gushing with giggles and fluttering about finishing last minute details.

"Dear, your groom has called for you!".

In a nervous tizzy she said, "What?! I'm not ready! I have to get my shoes and..."She had already taken her hand and led her to a corner, where her groom was waiting. She barely sat down; She was filled with so much anticipation! So much excitement! So many nerves!

"Is he going to like my dress? Does my hair look pretty? Can he see me?!"

Right around the corner sat her soon to be husband, She so was nervous he might see her yet secretly hoping to catch a glimpse of him. In her excited state she was the first to speak,

"Hi sweetie! We're getting married today!"

"I know baby and I want to pray with you before we do."

There they sat around the corner hand in hand, and together they bowed their heads. People were rushing about; the wedding coordinator directing people here and there, the photographers snapping photos and the bridal party enjoying each others company. Yet in that moment, in the quietness of their hearts and minds, her husband and her were alone in the presence of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Her husband prayed that God would bless their marriage, that through thick or thin together they would never lose hope in one another. That instead of focusing on each others imperfections they would always rely on Christ's perfection. That they would wake up every day and chose to love one another not through their own strength but by the power of Christ's perfect love.

With their hands clenched tightly to one another together they said "Amen", both with shaky voice and just like that she was whisked away to blot the tears off her face and put on her veil.This was momentous,she had never seen that before.Couldn’t hold back her tears because right there was the right foundation,a spiritual head and a priest of their own home.

After her bridesmaids, mother, mother-in-law and every other girl in the room had finished zipping, curling, tucking and blushing her up She looked in the mirror. There she stood wearing her pure white wedding dress, ready to walk down the aisle to herr Prince Charming.

He is not only her Prince Charming because of his incredibly handsome looks, or wonderful humor, or the fact that they have so much in common yet so much different. He is her Prince Charming because he helped her protect the most precious gift that she owned, her purity.

Soon after they had started dating she told her Prince how she valued purity and planned to be until the night of her wedding; to which he replied he would have it no other way.

Throughout their dating relationship and engagement they constantly fought, what at times felt like a losing battle. They fought temptation with prayer, scripture and accountability. She had friends checking up on her if they knew we were together late at night and he regularly met with other men to pray for strength. At times, especially as the wedding grew closer, they thought they were attempting to do the impossible.

"Why are we doing this?" She would ask in her weakness, and he would remind her, that it's because God had told them too.

"I can't do it, I can't... this is too hard!" he would confess to her and she would pray for his strength.

When she walked down the aisle in her white dress, she looked straight into the eyes of the man that had laid himself down to protect and honor the wife that God had given him.

When his eyes first caught her he looked into the face of the woman that had waited for him, the woman that would support him and love him for the rest of His life, through good times and bad.

They prayed,they asked the Lord to use their wedding to bring Him all of the glory that He rightfully deserved. They had not gotten where they were by their own strength, but by His hand of protection on our relationship.

They wanted to take it a step further and give God praise and thanks for how they arrived at that quiet 

corner, holding hands and ready to start their lives together.

Whom you marry,matters

My mom,a profound lady, once told me “who you marry matters”.You might think that the way he treats you isn’t so bad. It’s going to get better after the wedding. You might think that he’ll change. It’s possible, but most don’t. You might think that you’ll be able to minister to him and help him. Possibly, but if you can’t now, you won’t then, and you will be at risk yourself. A husband should lead and cherish you, not need your counsel for basic personality or behavior issues.Thats why we are always advised,Do not be unequally yorked to a non-believer.

Unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. She said marriage impacts every aspect of your life. 

 It will impact you spiritually. 

If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children.

Will he lead you in prayer, Bible reading, family devotions, and public worship? Or will you be on your own? Is he going to make spiritual growth a priority or do other things come first? Is he going to ask you how it’s going with your soul so he can help you grow in holiness and love for Christ, or will he leave that to your pastor? Is he going to lead the children in this, or will you have to spearhead that? In church, is he going to help the kids sit well, pray, find the hymn, or will you be the one pointing out what is happening next and helping the family keep up? 

 It will impact you emotionally.

 

Is the guy you’re thinking of going to encourage you, love you, be kind to you, and seek to understand you, or will he want to go out with the guys when you’re having a hard night? Will he listen when you are struggling with something or will he be preoccupied with a video game? Is he going to be annoyed when you cry or will he get you designer jamia shoes and give you a hug? Is he going to going to understand that you are probably more tender than he is, more sensitive to issues and comments, or is he regularly going to run rough shod over your feelings? 

A husband can cripple or foster emotional health.

 It will impact you physically. 

Is the guy you’re with going to provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothe and feed you? A man who doesn’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). You might have to help ease the financial burden, but unless your husband is disabled or there is another unusual circumstance, you shouldn’t have to carry it yourself.

Will the man you are with care for your body or abuse it? Is he going to honour the marriage bed in physical and mental faithfulness to you? Will he be accountable to God for your family?.

It will impact you mentally. 

Is the man that you’re thinking of going to be a source of worry or will he help you deal with your worries? Is he going to encourage your intellectual development, or will he neglect it? Is he going to value your opinions and listen to what you are thinking, or will he disregard your thoughts? Is he going to help you manage stress so that your mind is not burdened that way, or is he going to let you struggle through issues alone?

 Is he going to care for you and be thoughtful of you if you are experiencing mental strain, or will he ignore it? I used to think that the intellectual or mental side of a marriage is small.I learnt through PMC classes that it’s a whole lot important.

 It will impact you relationally. 

How’s your relationship with your mother? Your dad? Fast forward ten years: you tell your husband that your mother is coming for the weekend. Is he excited? Disappointed? Angry? Making snide jokes with his friends? Of course, a husband should come first in your priority of relationships, as you both leave father and mother and cleave to one another. But parents are still a big part of the picture. Whatever negative feelings he has about your parents now will probably be amplified after marriage. Your marriage will either strengthen or damage – even destroy – your relationship with your parents. The people who know you best and love you most right now could be cut out of the picture by a husband who hates them.

It’s the same with sisters and friends. Will they be welcomed, at reasonable times, in your home? Will the guy who you’re with encourage healthy relationships with other women, or will he be jealous of normal, biblical friendships? Will he help you mentor younger women and be thankful when older women mentor you, or will he belittle that?

Don’t sacrifice many good relationships for the sake of one guy who can’t value the people who love you.

So how will your boyfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a husband can bless or curse his wife. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones in the process of perfection through Christ. Don’t be so desperate to get married that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in that situation.

 Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow, whose accountability is not to God. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.

  

Masculinity,Gods Strength And Love

Marriage was instituted by God as the foundational institution of society, the place where God’s love for His people and His people’s reverence and love for God would be on display every day in the example of the love and respect between a husband and wife.  The husband is to represent the love and servant leadership of Christ and the wife is to represent the adoration, devotion and submission of the church to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-33). Marriage is where children learn about relationships, love, God, life, manhood, womanhood, family and learn to become godly people themselves.

Strength

At its core, masculinity is about strength of body/mind/spirit. God designed husbands to represent the powerful, extravagantly generous, self-sacrificing love of Christ to their wives (and children).

Husbands are clearly not deity, they are fallen, sinful men, but their role in the parable of marriage is to portray Christ. Christ is powerful and strong on every level. Christ is the Head of the church. He is the Leader. He is the sole Provider of everything His people need. He is the Protector of His flock. He is the One Who gave His life up that His beloved might live – the ultimate love story of a brave Prince rescuing His princess so that they might live happily ever after together.

And masculinity is also about being fierce when necessary to fight for what is right, to defend the weak and to protect those he loves from danger.  It is about being a hero.

Steadfast Love

The love of God for us does not change. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Men tend to have a basically unchanging love for their wives, even if they don’t verbalize it. Men tend to think of their love as being constant and not something that could be easily lost.  They are often baffled that their wives need constant reassurance of their love.  To them, they married us – they are here – so that means they love us and they don’t plan for that to change.  I believe that is why God built men to generally be so emotionally and spiritually stable and largely unchanging – contrasted with the  wives who represent God’s people.

Creativity

Just as God is the Creator of the universe and the world, He put into the hearts and minds of men His spark of creativity and desire to build. Think of the civilizations that have been built by the power, strength, intelligence, creativity and problem-solving skills of men.

Gentleness/Tenderness

The combination of God’s unlimited and terrifying power and His identity as being Love Itself is the essence of God’s design for manhood. Raw muscle and strength meets tender love and compassion – that is the grandeur of manhood, the design that God has in mind for His men.

Yes, He designed them to be leaders, but not to lord their power over their wives or families but to be gentle, humble, servant-leaders like Christ. This is where the real power is for men in marriage! Godly masculinity is about self-sacrifice for the good of the marriage, for the good of the wife, for the good of the family.

Self Sacrifice

God designed men to represent the sacrificial love of Jesus for His bride, the church.  When men feel respected and know their wives believe in them and have total faith  in them – God wired them to want to respond to that honor by serving.  Respect fuels a man’s desire to give of himself to protect others.  He is often at his very best when he knows that his wife and family are depending on him and feels the daily affirmation, encouragement and appreciation from his wife in particular.

A Different Perspective on Life

God gave men a different kind of brain than He gave women. A man’s brain is much less complex (in that there are millions less connections between the two halves of the brain) and it is streamlined to focus on one thing at a time and to generally see the big picture and not be bogged down in intricate details.

A man is designed by God to be able to handle more weight physically, emotionally and spiritually than women are.

He Needs to Lead and Know His Wife Trusts and Believes Him

A man is built to need respect in order to thrive. Without his wife’s faith in him, life can seem like torture.

“Without faith it is impossible to please God.” (Hebrews 6:11) and without faith in our men, it is impossible for them to become all they are meant to be and impossible for us to have the intimacy we long for in our marriages.

Masculinity is so beautifully designed by God to be a reflection of His character – it is not a perfect reflection (because of sin), but a godly man’s patience, tendency not to hold grudges, quickness to forgive, generosity, drive to be the provider and breadwinner, motivation to be the protector, tender love and affection towards his wife, attraction for her, and the desire to make his wife happy – these are all qualities of Christ towards us!

We dare not tamper with the mystery of Christ and the church by demanding that husbands become more feminine or by declaring that masculinity is “wrong.”  Men are DIFFERENT from women.  That’s a good thing!  It’s something to be celebrated.  They are not wrong to be men(God's handwork).