A GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING..

She is, in many ways, an old-fashioned person, a woman who longs for a traditional, intact family around the table and sees herself as a mother first and foremost.

She says of her husband ,“He’s a gifted man, but in the end, he’s just a man”.

.....

In every speech, she makes, it's clear that her husband’s political career has meant considerable sacrifice for her own family, and talks about how hard it is for her, personally, to find equilibrium. In one little-noticed admission to an interviewer, Michelle Obama estimated that over the past year, her husband had been home with free time for a paltry total of 10 days.

That means 355 days in which Barack Obama was not home with free time, and it was Michelle who had to get up and get the girls ready for school and get through the day, somehow, herself, and try to preserve some semblance of a career and a life. She is not a martyr who endures this kind of thing silently.

Today, she tells an anecdote about how the four of them — Michelle, Barack, Sasha, and Malia — travelled together recently, and “at one point someone asked Malia, our older daughter, what she enjoyed most about the weekend, and she said, ‘Being with my dad.’ “And,” she says, “it nearly broke my heart.”

The ‘boss’ behind President Obama Obama’s road to the White House was a whirlwind of a political life, the sort that rips marriages apart. For 10 out of 365 days, dad wasn’t at home, and it was Mum who had to get up and get the girls ready for school... and get through the day, somehow, herself.

Luckily, even in the struggle to preserve some semblance of a career and a life, she appreciated the value of sacrifice. give her husband the go-ahead to run. She feels that all children, not just hers, deserve “the resources they need to ensure a healthy future.” Michelle’s most important role is explaining Barack Obama.

She does this beautifully. It is her crucial task to humanise him, to make sense of him—to normalise him. “Who is Barack Obama the man, the father?” she said in Nashua, New Hampshire, during the primary campaign. “What is his character? What are his values?” It is the traditional duty of the political wife, of course, to reinforce her husband’s virtues, channelling the audience’s admiration through what has become known as the Adoring Gaze.

But Michelle Obama’s task is different, because Obama has such a complicated personal back-story. She often acknowledges to audiences that when she first heard about him, she assumed he would be strange. He is a bi-racial man, technically, who identifies himself, as he writes in his memoir, Dreams from My Father, as “a black American” and “a black man with a funny name.”
...........

She has a quick and wicked sense of humour. Sought assurance Before agreeing to her husband’s presidential run, she insisted upon — and got — a series of meetings with his closest advisers, during which she sought assurance that the campaign was plausible and that it would be well run.

She is said, by those who know her, to be as smart as her husband. Some say she is smarter. Unlike her husband, who in his early 20s spent a great deal of time by himself, reading, she seems more of a doer, an extrovert, a list maker, not ruminative. She does not like to cook. She is almost heroically well organised. She is a better boss than an employee; she likes to be in charge and does not like her time to be wasted. She is forceful and can be intimidating.

Her husband says she is “a little meaner than I am.” Her brother says even family members are scared of her. He may or may not be joking. She is the person her husband trusts to be his radar about people; she is seen as more sceptical than he is. He calls her “the boss.”
.....
......
This Saturday article was a challenge.Ask yourself will you be that gift that keeps on giving?

WHEEL OF LIFE

Because of my boredom I jumbled in to this website that gives you evaluation and drawing of wheel of life. Here is the result of my boredom. I got this one at mindtools.com

I'M WITH YOU

Im standing on the bridge
Im waiting on the dark
I thought that you'd be here
by now

Ther's nothing but the rain
no foot steps on the ground
Im listening but ther's
no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me
Won't somebody come take me home

it's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I
Im with you
Im with you

Im looking for a place
Im sarching for a face
Is anybody here
I know

Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be
alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me
Won't somebody come take me home

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I
Im with you
Im with you

Oh
Why is every thing so confusing?
Maybe Im just out of my mind
Yeah yeah yeah...
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't Know Who You are
But I
Im with you
Im with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't Know Who You are
But I
Im with you
Im with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't Know Who You are
But I
Im with you
Im with you

Only love can make a memory..

It's a cold February night. People are bustling through the streets, either pulling up their coat collars or wrapping scarves around their necks, trying to stay warm.

It's so cold today.I'm standing at my window, looking at the people moving like little dots. Standing in a heated room, I'm beginning to pity those people. Why don't they go home? Do they plan on wandering until morning?

"Almost time to go home! My boyfriend must be going crazy." One of the nurses breathe a sign of relief. "Still needs to work overtime on Valentine's Day. It's so unfair!"

"You are fortunate." Another nurse says. "Some people don't have anyone waiting for them."

"You mean Dr. Shu?"
Like Sherlock Holmes, my ears perk up when I hear my name.
"Do you remember how she lost control on this day last year?"
"Of course I do." A nurse shudders. "I've never seen Dr. Shu like that. Crying and yelling, like she was crazy."
They are talking about how I was last year. They are correct. I was out of control, like they said.
"You can't blame Dr. Shu. If my boyfriend died in front of my eyes, I would probably go crazy as well."
"Keep it down. She hasn't left work yet. She might hear you."
The two nurses are too late. I heard the entire conversation through the canvas wall.
"Dr. Shu, what are you doing standing here?"

Just as I was deciding whether or not to reveal myself, another nurse exposed me. I awkwardly step out. The 2 nurses who discussed me start to blush. Their faces became redder than the bow on Valentine's Day chocolates.

"I'm waiting to go home." I pretend that I didn't hear anything.
"Dr. Shu, you must have gotten too involved in your work. It's already past time to go home. See you tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!" She waves goodbye.

"Happy Valentine's Day." I wave back and watch the 2 nurses hurry away.

That's fine. I was ready to go home anyway. Even though no one is waiting
for me, at least there's a lazy cat waiting for me to feed.

After I come home, the first thing I do is feed the cat. I forgot when I first had the cat. Probably since last year's Valentine's Day. At that time, I was like an abandoned cat, with eyes filled with despair. Cats don't cry, I do. That's the only difference.

"Better drink all the milk or I'll skin you." I threatened the cat. Her name is Christine, my least favorite English name. I don't know why I named the cat Christine. Christine meowed once to let me know she heard me, but her eyes are complaining about my severity. Her eyes remind me of someone I used to know, standing in front of me with eyes of rebellions.

A year ago today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and took the opportunity to complain to him.

"Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me any flowers?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Why should I give you flowers? You are not my anyone."

"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I pouted my lips, hurt by his tone.

"I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-card."

E-card. That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is. "You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting." I excitedly smiled and planned to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even though he wouldn't use any good words, I still looked forward to the card.

"I can't stand you women. Why do you make such a big deal out of Valentine's Day?" He grumbled while eating his food. His comment induced me to fight with him again.

"You are boring!! Don't you watch any Japanese drama?"

"Japanese drama? I only watch Discovery Channel."

"Your life is so boring." I made a face at him. "One recent drama was really good. You should have watched it."

"What's that drama called?" He didn't believe in the love portrayed in TV and movies. He always thought they were lies.

"It's called 'Story of A Century'." I gladly answered.

"What kind of trashy plot did it have?"

"What do you mean trash?? Show some respect!" I was so angry. "That drama was very touching, and the theme song was beautiful as well. It's called 'Only Love', performed by Nana Mouskouri." I wonder if he knew who Nana was.

"Nana, I know her. A Greek singer with really expensive albums."

"Her voice is worth it." Even though I secretly agreed with him, I couldn't bring myself to admit it.

"Whatever." He glanced at his watch. "I'll give you 5 minutes to tell me the plot. After that, I'm leaving."

I tried hard to explain 6 hours worth of story in just 5 minutes. The drama portrayed the love stories of 3 generations of women spanning 100 years, from 1901 to 2000. Each generation was portrayed by the same actress. The story was tear-jerking.

"What's so touching about it?" He asked, after listening to the story.

"Don't you think each generation's story is wonderful? If I have such great screen writing ability, I wouldn't be a doctor anymore. I would become a screenwriter."

"If you become a screenwriter, I bet no one would watch the show. The TV station can go out of business." He quickly interjected.

"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the card!" I was so mad that I went home immediately, not even finishing my coffee.

As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my computer and go online.

Staring at the empty in-box, I began to reminisce about how we met. Maybe no one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were actually neighbors. Our homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were kids, we liked to fight with each other all day long. I still remember when I moved to the country that year. Used to the city life, I couldn't get used to the simple life in the country. After school, I would just go home and do nothing. Whenever that happened, he would always come over to tease me.



"Why are you staring off into space??" He loved to pull on my hair. "You're so ugly when you're doing nothing. But you're also not pretty when you smile." In other words, I'm really ugly.

"You're the one who's ugly!" I pull back my hair. "If you think I'm so ugly, why do you visit me??"

"Can't help it. My home is right next to your home." He argued.

"Then I'll move!" The next day, I drew a line in the ground using some white chalk. A line that I forbid him to cross.

That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn't stand each other and hoped the other would move away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us moved. Not only that, we got into the same high school and into the same class.

"You're that infamous couple." All the students and teachers in the school would say whenever they saw us.

"We're not!" I always tried to explain. "We're only neighbors." At that time, I hated my parents for making us live next to him.
"My standard is not that low." He would say. "Who wants her to be a girlfriend? It's not like I don't have eyes."

"Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head." I really disliked him. "Better than having eyes on the bottom of my head like you." He implied that I couldn't judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior.

I didn't think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning. After a while, I found out that the senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it, he silently passed me a handkerchief .

"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly comforted me. I cried the whole night, and began to see him in a different way. Things began to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he started to look at me differently. And I blushed . We both knew: we fell in love with each other.

Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we cared about each other's every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.

Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation. I chose to study medicine, and he chose physics. Yet we still couldn't separate from each other. Our parents worried that we didn't know anyone in Taipei, so they forced us to live in the same apartment building. Once again, we became neighbors. We didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share dinner with a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day from then on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day together. After graduation, I became an intern. He started a small computer company with some friends and became a programmer. We were busy with our own lives and had no time for a relationship. Three years later, I became a doctor, and his business began to boom. We separately moved to bigger
apartments and stopped being neighbors. On the surface, we left each other. In reality, we were still together. We spent every Valentine's Day together but each year became more dreary than the next because he never told me he loved me even with all my hints.

Facing the empty in-box, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn't say it and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called his cell phone.

"Hello." He picked up the phone.

"I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my displeasure.

"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy. "But I sent it."

He was really busy but I didn't care. "I didn't receive it. Send it again."

"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good enough?" He said with impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how people in relationship speak to each other?

"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have to pick me up tonight.

I'll eat dinner by myself."

"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."

"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks.

Childish? Why didn't he consider the situation? We've gone out for so many years and spent countless Valentine's Day together. I never received any flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too much to ask for?

I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations. After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the receptionist not to forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate on work.

Because there were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later and forgot about our argument.

"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."

As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly wheeled in a gurney.

"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with blood.

"Car accident." The medic replied. "Very serious. He may die."

I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had already stopped breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped

"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving people is our duty. We can't lose our calm.

But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person was my boyfriend!

"No..." I stood in shock. "NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously shocked his body. His body bounced up and down from the shocks. The scared nurses went to find another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.

I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted to save my boyfriend. Even though we fought all the time. Even though he never showed me his love. I still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card. He couldn't die! I threw away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I pressed with all my strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't wake up. He didn't even say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes closed, punishing me with his silence.

Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I couldn't see clearly anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds could come out of my mouth.

"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm sorry." Dr. Jian patted me on the shoulder. They knew each other and ate together once. I introduced them.

"He can't die." I shook my head. "He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him.

"Dr. Shu, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me. "I understand what you're going through, but you're a doctor."

Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person. How can Dr. Jian understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many years that it's become a habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides, he still owed me a card. "I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to him again and tried to knock the life back into his body.

"Take her away!" That day, I lost my control and my professionalism.

And that day happened to be Valentine's Day.

Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work early that day.

They told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to call me several times but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the hospital to find me and got hit by a large truck on the way.

When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him. Just because of an unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my privilege to be childish.

Like an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore. After his death, I couldn't cry anymore, regardless of how touching the plot or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect me anymore.

Now, I'm only left with a cat and a seldomly used computer. Stepping over the cat, I turned on the computer. Even though I know no one will send me a mail, I still hoped that someone will remember me on this day.

Meow, meow. I looked at Christine to see what's wrong. She finished her milk. I went into the kitchen to get her more milk then came back to look at the computer screen.

I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored enough to send me 100 junk mail?

I was just about to delete them all when I received another mail, and this one said: "Because of system error, we could not send these until today.

We apologize for the delay." The sender was my ISP.

I looked at the 1st mail. It showed the send date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart began to beat fast. Could he have sent these?

With a trembling hand, I opened the mail. The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous red rose set against green leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to play.... "Only Love". I couldn't believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the music was so dreamy. I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most touching of all were the words underneath the rose, because the words read like a beautiful poem.

"Hwei."

That's my name.

"Knowing you so many years, I've never sent you any flowers. Today I send you a rose."

I received it and it's so beautiful.

"You know we are always fighting. We can never really open our hearts and tell each other how we feel."

Yes, but it's all your fault for being so distant.

"I know I always make you mad by the things I say."

Good that you're admitting it.

"But today I want to say to you: I'm sorry, and I love you."

I waited so many years for those words.

"And I want to tell you a good news. I finally saved enough money."

You already have enough money. Why did you need so much?

"So Hwei, let's get married!! I was afraid to propose to you, because I didn't trust in my ability to give you the good life you deserve. But now I've saved enough money so we don't have to wait anymore."

Who wanted you to wait? I'm already yours.
"Today, I use this card to propose to you. Will you marry me, Hwei? Will you?"

That's the content of the whole card. Like a fool, I kept reading his words and talking to him. It's like I can hear his voice and see him again.

As if it's back to 1 year ago with us constantly fighting.

The song played over and over. Repeating Nana's heartbreaking voice.

Only love can make a memory. Only love can make a moment last. You were there and all the world was young and all it's songs unsung. and I remember you then when love was all, all you were living for,
and how you gave that love to me...."

The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely. When he was alive, my world was so young. Every day, I could find a something different to fight with him about. But after he left, my life is only left with memories and coldness that will never go away.

"Will you marry me?"

When I read these words, my tears unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard.

Will I? If he's in front of me, I will definitely kick him and call him a big fool. If I wasn't willing, I wouldn't have waited until today.

So I moved the cursor over the "Reply" box, and typed the response that I've already prepared for so many years - "I will."

I will - be by his side for the rest of my life. I will - fight with him forever. That is how I answered him, but the only response I got was the repeating song "Only Love."

Nevertheless, I opened every single letter, accepted every singled rose, and typed the same response: "I will."

I replied 100 times, and "Only Love" played 100 times. In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's been broken for 1 year finally got reconnected.

WHO SHALL STAND?..

How Ms Karani spent the borrowed money
Sh17,000
Amount she spent to buy anointing oil. The oil packed in small bottles cost between Sh1,000 and Sh1,500, depending on spiritual needs
Sh5,000
What she paid for prayers to get a spouse. She was desperate to get a partner and borrowed money to pay the preacher.
Sh14,000
Spent on prayers to get a job. Ms Karani trusted that through her preacher, God would answer her prayers for a job, and was ready to pay.

Having been jobless for three years after college, Ms Carole Karani, 25, joined a church in Nairobi to seek divine intervention. She believed that through her preacher’s prayers, the good Lord would grant her a good job and a husband.

“I was desperate and needed help from God. I had no job, no money, and it’s hard to survive without an income, especially if you live in the city. That is why I went to church to pray through the assistance of my pastor,” she says.

However, she soon learnt that prayers in that church were not for free. But this did not deter her because she thought that if she got what she was seeking, then it would be a small price to pay.

“I had a job, but the company I worked for collapsed and I joined others on the streets. I went to many offices, but to no avail.”

Ms Karani joined the little known-church in the city in September 2008. She soon realised that money played an important role in her daily spiritual nourishment.

“You had to go to church with money. The preachers demanded money during a session called ‘planting a seed’. I was so convinced by the preachers that by ‘planting a seed’, one receives blessings and what God has in store for them,” she adds.

Ms Karani says “planting a seed” costs around Sh1,000 per session, depending on one’s divine needs.

“If, for instance, you are looking for a job, you might be asked to pay about Sh1,500, while a problem in your marriage will set you back Sh3,500 for prayers for you and your spouse.”

Ms Karani told her pastor that she only wanted a good job and a marriage partner.
“If a woman is seeking a husband, prayers will cost her Sh5,000. I was in dire need of a partner and I also wanted a job.

Despite being jobless, I had to find money to pay for these divine services.”
And where was she to get the money from?

“I borrowed from friends and tried to convince my parents about my new-found faith in God. Most of the time they sent me the money. I also sold my cell phones and other property to raise cash for the preacher to pray away my troubles,” says Ms Karani.

She adds that every Sunday after service, church boys would hawk “miracle fruits” and “fortune soaps” that cost between Sh500 and Sh1,000.

The “anointing oil” packed in small and large bottles cost between Sh1,000 and Sh1,500, depending on one’s purchasing power and spiritual needs.

.................

“When someone crams all the verses of the Bible and starts preaching to someone who rarely reads the Bible, chances are that the latter will be influenced by that person’s opinions, whether wrong or right.

So that even if he or she asks for money, the one who has been manipulated will give because of the trust they have in that person.
“The best way to deal with this is for Christians to read the Bible and understand what it says about money.

Once they do this, it will be difficult for them to get duped.”
.............

So sad indeed that Gods power can be estimated with a few bucks..

Puddle of memories

I walked up the stairs
To the attic
The place my friends
Mostly feared

I opened the door
It creaked loudly
I stared at the room

Everywhere was dust
Dust and more dust
And cobwebs
There were papers
Scattered across the wooden floor

Then I saw something
Covered by papers and dust
I reached out
To get it

It was a book
It looked old
I opened it
Then I saw
I saw myself
There
Smiling
I was just a little girl then

I stared at myself
I stared back
Into my eyes
And then I see
I remember
The times
When I was just a little girl

A tear fell on the page
I blinked
More and more tears fell
And washed the photo all over

I can't see my self anymore
All I can see was a puddle
In the middle of the photograph
A puddle of tears
A puddle
Full of memory

MY LIFE,YOUR SONG

Whose hands are these

Holding my trapeze

When I fly

You carry me

Whose eyes are these

Watching over me

Eyes of love

That set me free

Unafraid

What's ahead

You are always there before

My whole world

Your design

You are always there

Just right behind

My life is Your song

To You my heart belongs

Let all earthly crowns

Fade in the shadow of the cross

My life is Your song

I'll sing for You alone

Nothing in this world

Can take me away from You

Our love goes on and on

Whose arms are these

Shelter me from harm

In the storm

You are my calm

Whose voice I hear

Whisper in my ear

When I'm lost

You're always near

In all my life

Be glorified

With Christ in me

No longer I

So take my all

Consuming Fire

Your light in me

I'll let it shine

I WAIT WITH HOPE..

going back to the time
when i was wide eyed,
looked at the wonderful things,
fascinated, content...

someone held my hand,
wanted to let go of it,
wanted to reach out,
i was no more a kid...

i was in the world,
the world was in me,
it lured me,
i let go of that hand...

i ran to reach it,
if only i had known,
it was not for me,
too late, i was hurt...

now only a shadow
walks beside me,
reminding me,
the old innocent days...

so i wait with hope,
my only companion,
i will find that hand again,
turn back and walk away...

Zoomin out Life..

It's quite interesting how the unpredictable life keeps us going! Each day brings new ventures and promises of untouched surprises which mock the stagnant aspect of life.

         For many of us, life is beautifully complicated. It can be compared to being on a trampoline, jumping up and down. Being in the air is analogous to going through an enriching phase of life. But when gravity pulls you down, life becomes a tragedy! However, rest assured as you are bound to bounce back.

        There are some people who know how to bend the laws and go down in the history because they see life in a different dimension. There is a reason they are famous, the only reason that draws the line between us and them. So, the question that comes up is how to narrow down that gap? The answer is really easy but we tend to overlook it. About 95% of our species ignore the obvious even when it is staring them in their face.
       The answer is belief. Majority of the dreams remain submerged in the marshes of fears and then, one day, they move to the bottom. Unable to breathe, they die! All you need to do is give your dreams the life sustaining BELIEF..... Just sit down for a while and think.

          "Someday I'll fly...
            Someday I'll soar...
            Someday I'll be so damn much more...
            Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for..."
                

Call of the heart...

Hear the voice of the wind...

Walk with the sun above you...

Bring in the songs of the rainbows...

The colors sparkling new...

Lead me, my heart...

I wish to follow you...

It's a vague start...

I'll do what I should do...

I'll  follow you...

This life is a magical bliss...

You might say it's too good to be true...

I've made it this way...

with love and I'm grateful...

Lead me my heart...

I wish to follow you...

Though dreams are far...

I'll make it through...

I'll follow you...

Call of the heart...

I'll never stop and quit...

even if there's a long queue...

Seize the dreams and fly...

in the skies so blue...

Lead me, my heart...

I am following you...

I'm playing my part...

to get life's perfect view...

I'll follow you...

I'll follow you...

LOST ART OF CONVERSION

Alfred North Whitehead said, “Expression is the one fundamental sacrament”.

Every morning, as my infant niece lies cooing in his crib, I make sure that he hears his name before seeing my face.’Davi….David Senior,” I call out in a drawn and almost forlorn tone of voice. His cooing stops. He hears a familiar sound. If I hide around the corner out of sight, his eyes watch, all his energy goes to listening. This big gal is making noises again, he thinks. Vibrations that name me, and prove that I exist, have travelled across the air from Someplace Else and into my fuzzy and not-well-focused world.

This may not sound like much, but it is the essential human transaction. We speak the world into being-It is “linguistically constituted,” as Heidegger would say, because humans are Homo loquins (speaking animals).The whole of our civilization and sophistication depends on language. In the poetry of Genesis, God speaks the world into being,saying”Let there be light…”.In John’s Gospel God’s best word, which “became flesh and dwelt among us full of grace and peace.”

The story of the Tower of Babel is meant to show that when language fails, human communication and cooperation fails. These days, the tragedy is not confusion, but silence-people moving, ghostlike, in glass houses against which no one dares to throw the stone of a word.

Consider my little niece again. He is learning not only that human beings make sounds to reach out to another, but a face will follow the sound-because the world is acoustical cause and effect. It’s the ear that welcomes the footsteps of the world. The dog barks, the thunder rolls, the screen door bangs out its hyphenated greeting. Sound is a messenger, and an interpreter.

The world is full of noise, but starved for meaningful discourse. There is plenty of clatter and droning, the kind that spills and churns out insults over talk radio. But there is very little real communication. Our homes have become the noisiest place of utter silence on earth and you know why?

TV’S has replaced the linguistic impulse. It turns faces away from one another and toward the mosaic monologue that is entertainment. The art of conversion began to die when we moved from the table to the couch. Passively we listened to others talking, and there was no place for us to speak our lines. We laughed at other people being funny, cried when others were sad, and cheered our sport heroes as if we were playing. As the flickering light of the tube reflected the zombie-like faces of a whole generation, the sound of families-arguing, teasing, cajoling, encouraging, setting and testing boundaries, investigating one another’s feelings, and telling stories-faded to black.

The extent of this silence in a world of racket is so far advanced that drastic measures are needed. Love cannot survive silence. Children cannot grow apart from the words that bridge their fears, and adults cannot rehearse and refine their relationships if they never hear the sound of the voices of their loved ones.

In a world where divorce is commonplace, it is no secret that marriages not only end in silence, they are ended by silence. Conversation is the currency of passion; it is the courier of concern. To be listened to, really listened to, and to be heard is so fundamental to the renewal of understanding that it has become the desperate refrain of our time.

How do we recover from this desperate situation?

It is to cut the cord on the TV that keeps us all drugged with impossible images of unattainable life. It is to say by action, and not by sentiment alone, that you refuse to let yourself be shown how to look, how to act and what to wear. For only when the blue light of the television fades will people get to know themselves again in the white light of the morning?

But conversation, like all the best things in life, cannot be forced. Language is the house of being. Sometimes all we are looking for in this life is a word from someone. A word of reassurance, a word of forgiveness, a word of reconciliation. The authentic life is worth talking about. Talking about it makes it more authentic still. It’s time to move off the couch and get back to the table-because we cannot live without the sound of each other.

BEYOND THE VOWS

Ever heard of this book by John Oscar Macharia?

This book cushions the harsh truth that to communicate effectively, we must risk exposing our true feelings. It’s a fine piece of work-I strongly recommend all and sundry to read it .

This is a Kenyan story of Romeo and Juliet in 1950.

“She noticed the young man discreetly following her. Whenever she left the house to go to the garden or to the stream to draw water, he would be watching her. She pretended not to notice his presence and continued with her work.

‘He’s attractive,’ she said to herself.

The young man on his part had been watching her every move. He knew he was attracted to her though he was not sure why. They had not spoken a word yet, but he was convinced she was the one whose hand he wanted to take in marriage.

‘She would make a good mate,’ he thought to himself.

Days passed. She started seeing signs to suggest that the man was about to make a move. She wasn’t sure she was ready, but he seemed like one who would make a good mate.

He left his home that morning and even with the pattering of the rain, he was sure she would be outside-working.Indeed, there she was. Without hesitating, he made the move. As soon as he got to where she was, he reached out, lifted her off the ground, threw her over his shoulder, and took her to his hut.”

I’m sure somebody somewhere is exclaiming,’Oh what a romance story’. Not at all. This was a common approach to marriage in most of Africa until modern concept of love started being embraced. ‘Love’ is believed to have had no part in our earliest ancestors’ choices of mates.

You can tally with that, right.Rather, partners were chosen on the basis of other considerations like upbringing, character, attractiveness, and ability to work hard.

OH...OH Today especially in Kenya, it is different. First which make of phone do you have, which car do you drive if any that is, do you walk with a swagger, are you in the corporate world and earning big and so on..

But let’s ask ourselves is it worth it...

Catch me on the next sitting as we discuss how it is beyond the vows courtesy of John Macharia.