Saturday, September 24, 2011
fashion fabulous
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Just another broken heart....
It wasn't about love, not even some kind of connection.I guess I remember my counselor talking of ' being connected'. Okay, well there was connection. Just a little omnipotent feeling that I never felt before in my heart. It started out simple, he came to everyone and offered every single lady a flower, day by day. One day.. I received mine, I was literally bursting with happy twinkles.
I hid though, and simply shoved the flower in my pocket. I mumbled a thank you and asked quietly.. "Do you think you'll woe me with a flower, like every other girl?". He .. laughed.. so gently and gentleman-like. That got my heart. He took it at that moment. He said.. " No.. I believe every lady should feel loved and cared for, nothing more. A simple gift, much like my flowers.. can be a great thing for a broken heart."
I blinked. Dazed. And amazed. He was the answer to my prayers. I was sure. As time passed by, we became friends.. good friends. He was there whenever I needed him, I felt he could protect me from the hurt and pain. At times, I confided to some of my close friends .. and I did realize how quickly inquisitive he'd get. I never understood why. I mean, he looked like he had a stone for a heart.But all I knew is that he was in love with God;his ways and speech would definitely tell you that. I knew .. that he knew that I felt uncomfortable around him for it was obvious. Very obvious. Everyone noticed it. He never did anything about it.
Then one.. day, that very special day in October, he came to me.. and said "I've always admired your strong-willed character, I always did.. please.. push aside our differences and let us become friends. I never did like the words you spoke to the other people about me, I care about you and for the record am not arrogant ." I was shocked, bewildered.. and finally happy. He gave me a hug then burst out laughing.I thought.....weird!.I had never envisioned him to be the caring type That moment was tragically magic. I felt alive... I felt.. loved.
As days passed, we laughed, smiled and shared stories. Oh.. how sweet it was. It was something I wanted to hold onto. Something I didn't want to leave me. But eventually.. it descended to the darkness. I committed wrong things, things he did not like.. and when he scolded me for it.. I grew scared and nervous, and soon demanded that we should end this relationship.
He was baffled, and somewhat speechless. He left without another word. That night I thought.. what was I thinking? Why would I do that? As I thought over it, my eyes blurred, and I cried.. I cried with such violence I was afraid I'd wake the others. Finally.. I slept. In the morning I immediately went to him and asked for forgiveness. I was on my knees, believe it or not.. I was on my knees,-I thought that I was proud. He looked down at me with such coldness, it sent icy daggers through my chest. With no avail, he shook his head "No" and walked away. I was broken, frail and.. alone. I cried out into the sky and cried more, never ending tears.
As I went home, I crawled into bed and remained there... for longest of times. Crying, crying.. and shaking. I had looked up to him. He was my best friend.I had confided in him,I trusted him. I thought over our times and only cried more. My depression was poison. Its been about three years and a half, and here I am. My heart aches still, but as I look past my time with him.. as I smile and look down at the flower he first gave.. I know.. that there's hope. Now that the flower is down a river, finding its path.. alone.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Your tomorrow
We seem to look for better times,
forget the ones we’ve got.
We think of things we can get,
the ones we have matter not.
We hope for dreams we soon shall find,
forget the ones we own.
We think of how much we may grow,
forget how much we’ve grown.
We think of where we can later go.
don’t take in where we are.
We dream of where or success will be
but seem not to go far.
If we look forward to tomorrow,
We never see today.
If we think only of our future,
our present on a shelf will stay.
When you look up into the sky,
and a dream is all you see.
If you keep on looking for tomorrow,
tomorrow will never be.
forget the ones we’ve got.
We think of things we can get,
the ones we have matter not.
We hope for dreams we soon shall find,
forget the ones we own.
We think of how much we may grow,
forget how much we’ve grown.
We think of where we can later go.
don’t take in where we are.
We dream of where or success will be
but seem not to go far.
If we look forward to tomorrow,
We never see today.
If we think only of our future,
our present on a shelf will stay.
When you look up into the sky,
and a dream is all you see.
If you keep on looking for tomorrow,
tomorrow will never be.
What happened to thought?
Where did the thinking people go? They were there it seems just a moment ago, and then when I looked around, they were gone.
You remember thinking, don't you? That exercise where you took disparate elements and bounced them around in your mind; testing one thesis against another; comparing one with the other; looking at alternative views? You say, you don't remember? Perhaps that is because we have evolved beyond thought.
What happened to thought? Where did it go? It was nothing less, dear reader, than murder most foul. Yes, thought has died, and we are the perpetrators of this most heinous crime. We have killed it, and left it to lie bleached and dessicated under the blazing sun, on the barren sands of greed and selfishness. We murdered thought when we surrendered our free will to the panderers of partisan wrangling and sound bite discourse.
Our obsession with instant gratification and the inability to take the time for patient analysis had already sapped thought of much of its vitality, rendering it vulnerable and weak. It was knocked to its knees by our reckless pursuit of short term profits and instant solutions.
Our educational system, with its focus on tests without intellectual content, was an unindicted conspirator in the slaying. Fear of lawsuits and anger from parents who wanted little Faith to pass whether or not she could read or count to ten without letting her conceptualize whatever she was saying. Schools that pushed millions of barely literate 'graduates' out into the world were the scenes of the crime.
A legal system that aided and abetted development of a culture of blaming others for whatever goes wrong, and never accepting personal responsibility played a critical role in the death of thought. We quit thinking for ourselves; the system was there to do this on our behalf. Like the fish that lives in darkness and finally evolves into a creature without eyes, we are rapidly becoming organisms who only need our brains to perform the necessary functions that keep us alive, like eating, breathing and heartbeat.
Thought is dead. One can only hope and pray that, like Lazarus, it can be brought back to life before it is too late.
You remember thinking, don't you? That exercise where you took disparate elements and bounced them around in your mind; testing one thesis against another; comparing one with the other; looking at alternative views? You say, you don't remember? Perhaps that is because we have evolved beyond thought.
Our obsession with instant gratification and the inability to take the time for patient analysis had already sapped thought of much of its vitality, rendering it vulnerable and weak. It was knocked to its knees by our reckless pursuit of short term profits and instant solutions.
Our educational system, with its focus on tests without intellectual content, was an unindicted conspirator in the slaying. Fear of lawsuits and anger from parents who wanted little Faith to pass whether or not she could read or count to ten without letting her conceptualize whatever she was saying. Schools that pushed millions of barely literate 'graduates' out into the world were the scenes of the crime.
A legal system that aided and abetted development of a culture of blaming others for whatever goes wrong, and never accepting personal responsibility played a critical role in the death of thought. We quit thinking for ourselves; the system was there to do this on our behalf. Like the fish that lives in darkness and finally evolves into a creature without eyes, we are rapidly becoming organisms who only need our brains to perform the necessary functions that keep us alive, like eating, breathing and heartbeat.
Thought is dead. One can only hope and pray that, like Lazarus, it can be brought back to life before it is too late.
Interview with God
An 10 year old girl by the name of Cierra laid on her bed as she watched the ceiling. She glanced over and looked at the picture of Jesus on her wall. Cierra had spent all of her young life in church. Her father is the pastor at Mt. Zion Baptist Church and her mother holds the position of music director. Cierra remembered her father during Sunday service would tell the congregation If you talk to God He will talk to you. Cierra looked at the picture again. She was trying to muster up enough courage to ask God some questions and most of all to see if He would respond.
"God why is there so much violence in the world?"
There was silence. Cierra waited. She knew that God is real however she did not know if He would answer but she knew that He was able. With in five minutes of her asking Cierra heard a small still voice." "Cierra, Cierra" the voice called. Cierra said" speak Lord for your child is listening." The voice said "I did not create violence. I'm not the author of confusion. I have given man a lot of precious gifts and one of them is free will. I have made them free will agents. They have to choose to do well. My will is that they will choose life and not death. For in me there is life, peace and joy."
"God why did you send your son Jesus to die for me and mankind?"
"When I created Adam and Eve they had a wonderful relationship with me. I would walk through the garden in the cool of the day and commune with them. When Satan appeared to Eve in the garden and they disobeyed me that relationship was severed. I sent my son Jesus so that man can be reconciled back unto me."
"God why did you create the devil?"
"The devil did not start off as the devil. I created Lucifer- Son of the Morning. He decided that he wanted to exalt himself above Me. The spirit of pride began to take him over and he was cast out of Heaven along with one third of the angels. These angles became his followers."
"God I hear my daddy say that you are coming back again. God are you really coming back?"
"My dear child I come everyday for my people. I will return. The key is not when will I return, but will you be ready when I return? No one knows that day or the hour, but I want you to tell them to be ready."
"You want me to tell them to be ready?" asked Cierra. "Yes" said God. "I'm going to use you at an early age to spread my word. I love your child like faith that I have placed in you. Do not be afraid of their faces and do not let them tell you that you are only a child. I will always be with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you. As you begin to study my word you will open your mouth and I will speak through you."
Cierra laid there with tears falling from her eyes. She knew that she had spoken with God but most of all she knew that God had spoken too her.
An interview with God.
There was silence. Cierra waited. She knew that God is real however she did not know if He would answer but she knew that He was able. With in five minutes of her asking Cierra heard a small still voice." "Cierra, Cierra" the voice called. Cierra said" speak Lord for your child is listening." The voice said "I did not create violence. I'm not the author of confusion. I have given man a lot of precious gifts and one of them is free will. I have made them free will agents. They have to choose to do well. My will is that they will choose life and not death. For in me there is life, peace and joy."
"God why did you send your son Jesus to die for me and mankind?"
"When I created Adam and Eve they had a wonderful relationship with me. I would walk through the garden in the cool of the day and commune with them. When Satan appeared to Eve in the garden and they disobeyed me that relationship was severed. I sent my son Jesus so that man can be reconciled back unto me."
"God why did you create the devil?"
"The devil did not start off as the devil. I created Lucifer- Son of the Morning. He decided that he wanted to exalt himself above Me. The spirit of pride began to take him over and he was cast out of Heaven along with one third of the angels. These angles became his followers."
"God I hear my daddy say that you are coming back again. God are you really coming back?"
"My dear child I come everyday for my people. I will return. The key is not when will I return, but will you be ready when I return? No one knows that day or the hour, but I want you to tell them to be ready."
"You want me to tell them to be ready?" asked Cierra. "Yes" said God. "I'm going to use you at an early age to spread my word. I love your child like faith that I have placed in you. Do not be afraid of their faces and do not let them tell you that you are only a child. I will always be with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you. As you begin to study my word you will open your mouth and I will speak through you."
Cierra laid there with tears falling from her eyes. She knew that she had spoken with God but most of all she knew that God had spoken too her.
An interview with God.
Without Courage
Of all the virtues man acquires, I believe Courage is the most universally respected and admired. Contrary to popular opinion, Courage is not dealing with a situation with reckless abandon, nor meeting a challenge without regard to consequences. To me, courage is a much more complex and comprehensive set of behavioral characteristics arising from one’s beliefs about life and how you chose to live life. Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher, described it accurately as:
“Courage is the first of human qualities;
Because it is the quality which guarantees the others”.
The act of Courage is much more than facing a danger or taking on a challenge. It is a quality of spirit that enables you to act appropriately in the face of the unexpected challenges.
It is the strength of character that allows you to face apparent obstacles or dangers or the unknown with measured responses and a commitment to succeed. Equally, it can also be facing defeat and knowing that you will come out of the encounter wiser and richer.
Like most human characteristics, courage is not inherited and is not present at birth, but is developed and nurtured gradually by learning and by exposure to risk taking. Children who are not afforded the opportunity to meet and deal with challenges are necessarily lacking this ability and invariably find difficulty in responding to situations with the level of courage needed.
Courage, to be managed successfully, requires the use of all the elements of human behavior. Unlike the blind, impulsive response of a rage reaction which is no different than an animal response, true courage draws on a complex mix of human characteristics including experience, maturity, intelligence, confidence and logic. To be successful the response must be balanced and directed, with a definitive, realistic goal.
Examples of Courage and Courageous behavior abound all around us but most of the time we do not recognize them. Some are easy to recognize such as when a police officer faces an armed assailant, his action is one of supreme courage, similarly when a soldier is sent in harm’s way, he carries his courage each time, for they know they risk serious consequences. In other situations Courage is expressed in the form of commitment.
The truth is that courage is expressed in millions of diverse ways by so many of us without any concern of gain or reward. The only consideration is the intention to do the right thing at all cost. This above all, is the essential component for leading a life of fulfillment and satisfaction.
As Maya Angelou, the celebrated Florida-based, African-American poet, noted:
One isn't necessarily born with Courage, but one is born with potential.
Without Courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency.
We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest”.
Because it is the quality which guarantees the others”.
The act of Courage is much more than facing a danger or taking on a challenge. It is a quality of spirit that enables you to act appropriately in the face of the unexpected challenges.
It is the strength of character that allows you to face apparent obstacles or dangers or the unknown with measured responses and a commitment to succeed. Equally, it can also be facing defeat and knowing that you will come out of the encounter wiser and richer.
Like most human characteristics, courage is not inherited and is not present at birth, but is developed and nurtured gradually by learning and by exposure to risk taking. Children who are not afforded the opportunity to meet and deal with challenges are necessarily lacking this ability and invariably find difficulty in responding to situations with the level of courage needed.
Courage, to be managed successfully, requires the use of all the elements of human behavior. Unlike the blind, impulsive response of a rage reaction which is no different than an animal response, true courage draws on a complex mix of human characteristics including experience, maturity, intelligence, confidence and logic. To be successful the response must be balanced and directed, with a definitive, realistic goal.
Examples of Courage and Courageous behavior abound all around us but most of the time we do not recognize them. Some are easy to recognize such as when a police officer faces an armed assailant, his action is one of supreme courage, similarly when a soldier is sent in harm’s way, he carries his courage each time, for they know they risk serious consequences. In other situations Courage is expressed in the form of commitment.
The truth is that courage is expressed in millions of diverse ways by so many of us without any concern of gain or reward. The only consideration is the intention to do the right thing at all cost. This above all, is the essential component for leading a life of fulfillment and satisfaction.
As Maya Angelou, the celebrated Florida-based, African-American poet, noted:
One isn't necessarily born with Courage, but one is born with potential.
Without Courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency.
We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest”.