POWER OF THREE STRANDED CORD IN MARRIAGE

“Are you OK, honey?” My husband’s kind eyes searched mine. “You were quiet during dinner, which is unusual for you.” He smiled, trying to make a joke, but he didn’t miss the strain on my face. Soon I was able to tell my husband about a difficult day at work and a friend who is facing a family tragedy. Then, he took my hand and offered a simple prayer for my peace and my friend’s comfort. Patric’s listening ear, faith, and encouragement were just what I needed. My husband is a true friend.

Yes, I have other friends. But my husband is the person I love to spend time with … who I share all my secrets with … who knows me better than anyone else (except for God). He is my best friend. One key to our deep friendship is our shared faith. Together we look to Christ for our needs.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” In other words, when Christ is the center of your marriage – the third strand of the cord, with the two of you being the others – your marriage is stronger and better able to withstand life’s tumults.

“Where two are closely joined in holy love and fellowship,” Bible commentator Matthew Henry (1662-1714) explains, “Christ will by his Spirit come to them, and make the third, as he joined himself to the two disciples going to Emmaus. Then there is a threefold cord that can never be broken.

The illustration of the three-stranded cord though makes even more sense when you speak to a rope maker.  They will tell you that this is the strongest cord you can make because all three strands are touching each other.  If you add more strands, the rope becomes thicker but not necessarily stronger because not all the strands are touching at the same time.

If one or even two of the strands becomes frayed or broken, the cord will remain intact as long as the third strand does not break.  This gives time for the other strands to be mended.  God works in this way in our marriages.  During those hard times when both spouses are at a breaking point, God holds the marriage together until He heals the other two.  And the good news is that God is a strand that can’t be broken.

I will be honest, in the end one spouse may still choose to walk away and break what God has joined.  Our Creator has given us all free will, and one spouse may choose to exercise it by walking away from the marriage.   However, by bringing God into our marriage through obedience and submission, we will make that break harder for them to accomplish.  

Building the third cord

Your love for Christ can motivate you to be a better friend to your spouse, and he to you. Even if just one marriage partner is a Christian, then out of love for Christ that person is motivated to be a true friend to the other and can move the relationship into a more fulfilling friendship. In other words, your friendship with your spouse deepens when you make Christ the center of your life and your relationship.

Try to make and keep Christ the center of your marriage through

• ·         Continue to grow in your personal walk with Jesus
• ·         Read scripture together
• ·         Pray together
• ·         Pray for your spouse
• ·         Ask God to guide your marriage and your family
• ·         Be committed to your marriage
• ·         Go to worship together
• ·         Attend small group or Bible study together
• ·         Find a ministry in which to serve together

When you put God first in your marriage and engage in God-centered activities, He is pleased. He honors that priority, joins you, and provides the clarity and direction to keep your marriage safe and strong.

When Christ is first, you’ll also discover that you and your spouse have a shared purpose. That binds you together. A marriage centered on Christ is an unshakeable foundation for a healthy, strong friendship – one that can both continue to deepen and endure over the test of time.

I am WOMAN!

“I am strong! I am invincible! I am WOMAN!” I remember striding down the school hallway with a couple of friends, belting out these words. We were determined to show the world that we were in control. These words summed up our resolve. “I am woman hear me roar—in numbers too big to ignore—no one’s ever gonna keep me down again!” We were perched on the verge of womanhood. And we were confident that we would be the first generation to get the meaning of womanhood right. 

We tried. We really did. We embraced education, careers, prominence. We despised all relationships and responsibilities that would hold us back. We moved marriage, mothering, and homemaking from the top of our lists to the bottom–or crossed them off altogether. After all, we were so much more enlightened than our fore sisters were. The world had revolved around men, but it was our turn now. We would make it bow to our demands. We decided that the role of a housewife was totally passé. 

So we redefined boundaries. We changed the rules of male-female relationships. We boldly pushed back against traditional definitions of gender and sexuality. We claimed our freedoms. We bought into the feminist promise that woman would find happiness and fulfillment when she defined her own identity and decided for herself what life as a woman was all about. How very wrong we were. For ultimately, who we are is a matter decided not by us, but by the One who in the beginning created us male and female.

The creation of the sexes was not something God did impulsively or arbitrarily. His plan existed from eternity past, before the foundation of the world. On the final day of creation, “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:26-27).

 We don’t fully understand what the image of God is all about, but two things are clear. First, bearing His image gives us enormous dignity, privilege, and responsibility. He has crowned us with honor and glory and has given us dominion over the earth. It’s a breath-taking charge to go about the business of daily life and all-the-while reflect the image of the Almighty. And that leads to the second thing: What a mess we’ve made of this awesome dignity! The image of God in humanity is badly marred; sometimes even beyond recognition. It begs for redemption. Transformation. A type of re-creation. And stunningly enough, God stamped this vision and hope onto human beings in the very beginning, before they had even sinned. When God created male and female, He provided an object lesson—a parable, as it were—of His entire redemptive plan.

Before the ages, God had a plan, but it remained hidden (1 Cor. 2:7; Col. 1:26). It wasn’t until Christ died that God’s eternal purpose—and the purpose of manhood, womanhood, and marriage—became clear. Paul connects all the dots in Ephesians. In chapter 3 he explains that the mysterious plan came to light when Jesus Christ died for the church (v. 7). In chapter 5, he correlates the mystery of redemption to male-female sexuality and marriage. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church . . . ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Eph. 5:25-33)

The profound mystery, hidden from eternity past, was that God intended to display the glory of His grace and covenant-keeping love through Jesus Christ, His Son, who laid down His life to redeem and purify His Bride. It cannot be said often enough: When God created male and female, He had the relationship of Christ and His Bride in mind. Men are to reflect the strength, love, and self-sacrifice of Christ. Women are to reflect the character, grace, and beauty of the Bride He redeemed.

We got it wrong. Womanhood is not about displaying my own strength and invincibility. It is for the praise of God’s glory that I am woman.