Friday, February 10, 2012

Najivunia kuwa Mkenya!

Kenyans were last weekend voted the funniest looking people in Africa. With 48 participating nations in the Annual Most Beautiful People of Africa Awards, held at the Gregor Theater in Bloemfontein SA, Kenya took the last position, dislodging Zambia and reclaiming the title it held in 2000.

It posted 7 points out of a possible 540 points. The top position was taken by Rwanda, followed by Cameroon and then Ethiopia as second runner up. The last three positions were Kenya at 48, Zambia at 47, then Gabon, at 46. The judges said they gave their points based on presentation, physical appearance, grooming, communication and other areas.

Coincidentally this came just a week after an article on Kenyans appeared in the Pretorian Bird. The article, in the entertainment section, claims Kenya has the funniest looking president on earth, and a VP with a strange looking head. It goes on to say that Kikuyu women and Luo men pose the most weird features.

"Women from the Kikuyu community have small legs, totally no figures, and a little exeggerated heads. They lack good behinds and those who have them look like inflated baloons.They are shaped like pyramids turned upside down.A big upper frame and an almost invisible lower bit.

Luo men on the other side have distorted facial features..say big lips and huge noses or should we call them knobs. Kikuyu men are also unproportional, and most of them are stunted. They walk leaning foward. Plus they have long rusty teeth."

"Those from Kisii Districts are small people, the average Kenyan man will stop growing at 5'2"...5'4" tops. Kisii men have mango shaped heads, and bowed legs, a feature also common in in their Luhya counterparts."

He goes on to describe Kaleos as "Funny little pitch black emaciated fellows, raking in millions from the track. However long they'll remain in Europe, their features never improve". "Nandis will have rounded foreheads, and thin, long arms". While occupants at the coast province are said to have "Wide faces, almost like a widescreen telly, especially taitas,and durumas"

"Kenyans do not know the meaning of good grooming" The writer says. "The women hate their dark skins and opt for mercury bleachs which mess them up. The result: A scary (unpigmented)light face, black legs, and a black back". As much as the Kenyan accent, of standard english is admired, "there's too much mothertounge interference, common in Merus, Kisiis, and Kikuyus".

While Luos were pointed out as to be suffering from chronic 'braggitis'. The research funded by the institute of Primate Research at the University of St. Kenkley, also noted that Kenyan men are very marketable in the Kimberely area of SA and parts of the Guateng region. Reason, they are big, hopeless spenders.

Moral lesson, "Be careful dating a Kenyan online." Accepting the Award Ambassador Kinyesi, complained of biased judging. Also present were dignitaries from all around Africa.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Dark,deep secret.

 I walked through the rain, thinking about what her secret is, not caring about anything else. She ignored me for months, left me to wonder what happened.

I tried asking her friends what happened and all they had to say was the same, "I can't tell you". After many months she finally contacted me. I asked her what happened, but all she said was, "I can't tell you". We went on talking normally, but during the whole time I wondered what her secret was.

We said our goodbyes and then went our separate ways. I couldn't sleep or think clearly, so I went for a walk. Walking through the rain, silently crying to myself, tearing my mind apart trying to figure out the secret.

Deep in thought I didn't see the car zooming towards me. When I opened my eyes I could hear shouting and then she was kneeling down beside me, crying. With every bit of strength I had left I asked, "What is your secret?" The last words I heard were, "I can't tell you" and then my eyes closed for the last time.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Smile............

A smile costs nothing, but gives much.

It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.

It takes a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor, but that he can be made rich by it.

A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in business, and is the countersign of friendship.

It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature’s best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone, until it is given away.

Some people are too tired to give you a smile;

Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.

Friday, February 3, 2012

trust in me now by anthony evans

Anthony Evans - The Way You Love Me