It wasn't about love, not even some kind of connection.I guess I remember my counselor talking of ' being connected'. Okay, well there was connection. Just a little omnipotent feeling that I never felt before in my heart. It started out simple, he came to everyone and offered every single lady a flower, day by day. One day.. I received mine, I was literally bursting with happy twinkles.
I hid though, and simply shoved the flower in my pocket. I mumbled a thank you and asked quietly.. "Do you think you'll woe me with a flower, like every other girl?". He .. laughed.. so gently and gentleman-like. That got my heart. He took it at that moment. He said.. " No.. I believe every lady should feel loved and cared for, nothing more. A simple gift, much like my flowers.. can be a great thing for a broken heart."
I blinked. Dazed. And amazed. He was the answer to my prayers. I was sure. As time passed by, we became friends.. good friends. He was there whenever I needed him, I felt he could protect me from the hurt and pain. At times, I confided to some of my close friends .. and I did realize how quickly inquisitive he'd get. I never understood why. I mean, he looked like he had a stone for a heart.But all I knew is that he was in love with God;his ways and speech would definitely tell you that. I knew .. that he knew that I felt uncomfortable around him for it was obvious. Very obvious. Everyone noticed it. He never did anything about it.
Then one.. day, that very special day in October, he came to me.. and said "I've always admired your strong-willed character, I always did.. please.. push aside our differences and let us become friends. I never did like the words you spoke to the other people about me, I care about you and for the record am not arrogant ." I was shocked, bewildered.. and finally happy. He gave me a hug then burst out laughing.I thought.....weird!.I had never envisioned him to be the caring type That moment was tragically magic. I felt alive... I felt.. loved.
As days passed, we laughed, smiled and shared stories. Oh.. how sweet it was. It was something I wanted to hold onto. Something I didn't want to leave me. But eventually.. it descended to the darkness. I committed wrong things, things he did not like.. and when he scolded me for it.. I grew scared and nervous, and soon demanded that we should end this relationship.
He was baffled, and somewhat speechless. He left without another word. That night I thought.. what was I thinking? Why would I do that? As I thought over it, my eyes blurred, and I cried.. I cried with such violence I was afraid I'd wake the others. Finally.. I slept. In the morning I immediately went to him and asked for forgiveness. I was on my knees, believe it or not.. I was on my knees,-I thought that I was proud. He looked down at me with such coldness, it sent icy daggers through my chest. With no avail, he shook his head "No" and walked away. I was broken, frail and.. alone. I cried out into the sky and cried more, never ending tears.
As I went home, I crawled into bed and remained there... for longest of times. Crying, crying.. and shaking. I had looked up to him. He was my best friend.I had confided in him,I trusted him. I thought over our times and only cried more. My depression was poison. Its been about three years and a half, and here I am. My heart aches still, but as I look past my time with him.. as I smile and look down at the flower he first gave.. I know.. that there's hope. Now that the flower is down a river, finding its path.. alone.
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