POWER OF THREE STRANDED CORD IN MARRIAGE

“Are you OK, honey?” My husband’s kind eyes searched mine. “You were quiet during dinner, which is unusual for you.” He smiled, trying to make a joke, but he didn’t miss the strain on my face. Soon I was able to tell my husband about a difficult day at work and a friend who is facing a family tragedy. Then, he took my hand and offered a simple prayer for my peace and my friend’s comfort. Patric’s listening ear, faith, and encouragement were just what I needed. My husband is a true friend.

Yes, I have other friends. But my husband is the person I love to spend time with … who I share all my secrets with … who knows me better than anyone else (except for God). He is my best friend. One key to our deep friendship is our shared faith. Together we look to Christ for our needs.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” In other words, when Christ is the center of your marriage – the third strand of the cord, with the two of you being the others – your marriage is stronger and better able to withstand life’s tumults.

“Where two are closely joined in holy love and fellowship,” Bible commentator Matthew Henry (1662-1714) explains, “Christ will by his Spirit come to them, and make the third, as he joined himself to the two disciples going to Emmaus. Then there is a threefold cord that can never be broken.

The illustration of the three-stranded cord though makes even more sense when you speak to a rope maker.  They will tell you that this is the strongest cord you can make because all three strands are touching each other.  If you add more strands, the rope becomes thicker but not necessarily stronger because not all the strands are touching at the same time.

If one or even two of the strands becomes frayed or broken, the cord will remain intact as long as the third strand does not break.  This gives time for the other strands to be mended.  God works in this way in our marriages.  During those hard times when both spouses are at a breaking point, God holds the marriage together until He heals the other two.  And the good news is that God is a strand that can’t be broken.

I will be honest, in the end one spouse may still choose to walk away and break what God has joined.  Our Creator has given us all free will, and one spouse may choose to exercise it by walking away from the marriage.   However, by bringing God into our marriage through obedience and submission, we will make that break harder for them to accomplish.  

Building the third cord

Your love for Christ can motivate you to be a better friend to your spouse, and he to you. Even if just one marriage partner is a Christian, then out of love for Christ that person is motivated to be a true friend to the other and can move the relationship into a more fulfilling friendship. In other words, your friendship with your spouse deepens when you make Christ the center of your life and your relationship.

Try to make and keep Christ the center of your marriage through

• ·         Continue to grow in your personal walk with Jesus
• ·         Read scripture together
• ·         Pray together
• ·         Pray for your spouse
• ·         Ask God to guide your marriage and your family
• ·         Be committed to your marriage
• ·         Go to worship together
• ·         Attend small group or Bible study together
• ·         Find a ministry in which to serve together

When you put God first in your marriage and engage in God-centered activities, He is pleased. He honors that priority, joins you, and provides the clarity and direction to keep your marriage safe and strong.

When Christ is first, you’ll also discover that you and your spouse have a shared purpose. That binds you together. A marriage centered on Christ is an unshakeable foundation for a healthy, strong friendship – one that can both continue to deepen and endure over the test of time.