POWER OF THREE STRANDED CORD IN MARRIAGE

“Are you OK, honey?” My husband’s kind eyes searched mine. “You were quiet during dinner, which is unusual for you.” He smiled, trying to make a joke, but he didn’t miss the strain on my face. Soon I was able to tell my husband about a difficult day at work and a friend who is facing a family tragedy. Then, he took my hand and offered a simple prayer for my peace and my friend’s comfort. Patric’s listening ear, faith, and encouragement were just what I needed. My husband is a true friend.

Yes, I have other friends. But my husband is the person I love to spend time with … who I share all my secrets with … who knows me better than anyone else (except for God). He is my best friend. One key to our deep friendship is our shared faith. Together we look to Christ for our needs.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” In other words, when Christ is the center of your marriage – the third strand of the cord, with the two of you being the others – your marriage is stronger and better able to withstand life’s tumults.

“Where two are closely joined in holy love and fellowship,” Bible commentator Matthew Henry (1662-1714) explains, “Christ will by his Spirit come to them, and make the third, as he joined himself to the two disciples going to Emmaus. Then there is a threefold cord that can never be broken.

The illustration of the three-stranded cord though makes even more sense when you speak to a rope maker.  They will tell you that this is the strongest cord you can make because all three strands are touching each other.  If you add more strands, the rope becomes thicker but not necessarily stronger because not all the strands are touching at the same time.

If one or even two of the strands becomes frayed or broken, the cord will remain intact as long as the third strand does not break.  This gives time for the other strands to be mended.  God works in this way in our marriages.  During those hard times when both spouses are at a breaking point, God holds the marriage together until He heals the other two.  And the good news is that God is a strand that can’t be broken.

I will be honest, in the end one spouse may still choose to walk away and break what God has joined.  Our Creator has given us all free will, and one spouse may choose to exercise it by walking away from the marriage.   However, by bringing God into our marriage through obedience and submission, we will make that break harder for them to accomplish.  

Building the third cord

Your love for Christ can motivate you to be a better friend to your spouse, and he to you. Even if just one marriage partner is a Christian, then out of love for Christ that person is motivated to be a true friend to the other and can move the relationship into a more fulfilling friendship. In other words, your friendship with your spouse deepens when you make Christ the center of your life and your relationship.

Try to make and keep Christ the center of your marriage through

• ·         Continue to grow in your personal walk with Jesus
• ·         Read scripture together
• ·         Pray together
• ·         Pray for your spouse
• ·         Ask God to guide your marriage and your family
• ·         Be committed to your marriage
• ·         Go to worship together
• ·         Attend small group or Bible study together
• ·         Find a ministry in which to serve together

When you put God first in your marriage and engage in God-centered activities, He is pleased. He honors that priority, joins you, and provides the clarity and direction to keep your marriage safe and strong.

When Christ is first, you’ll also discover that you and your spouse have a shared purpose. That binds you together. A marriage centered on Christ is an unshakeable foundation for a healthy, strong friendship – one that can both continue to deepen and endure over the test of time.

I am WOMAN!

“I am strong! I am invincible! I am WOMAN!” I remember striding down the school hallway with a couple of friends, belting out these words. We were determined to show the world that we were in control. These words summed up our resolve. “I am woman hear me roar—in numbers too big to ignore—no one’s ever gonna keep me down again!” We were perched on the verge of womanhood. And we were confident that we would be the first generation to get the meaning of womanhood right. 

We tried. We really did. We embraced education, careers, prominence. We despised all relationships and responsibilities that would hold us back. We moved marriage, mothering, and homemaking from the top of our lists to the bottom–or crossed them off altogether. After all, we were so much more enlightened than our fore sisters were. The world had revolved around men, but it was our turn now. We would make it bow to our demands. We decided that the role of a housewife was totally passé. 

So we redefined boundaries. We changed the rules of male-female relationships. We boldly pushed back against traditional definitions of gender and sexuality. We claimed our freedoms. We bought into the feminist promise that woman would find happiness and fulfillment when she defined her own identity and decided for herself what life as a woman was all about. How very wrong we were. For ultimately, who we are is a matter decided not by us, but by the One who in the beginning created us male and female.

The creation of the sexes was not something God did impulsively or arbitrarily. His plan existed from eternity past, before the foundation of the world. On the final day of creation, “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:26-27).

 We don’t fully understand what the image of God is all about, but two things are clear. First, bearing His image gives us enormous dignity, privilege, and responsibility. He has crowned us with honor and glory and has given us dominion over the earth. It’s a breath-taking charge to go about the business of daily life and all-the-while reflect the image of the Almighty. And that leads to the second thing: What a mess we’ve made of this awesome dignity! The image of God in humanity is badly marred; sometimes even beyond recognition. It begs for redemption. Transformation. A type of re-creation. And stunningly enough, God stamped this vision and hope onto human beings in the very beginning, before they had even sinned. When God created male and female, He provided an object lesson—a parable, as it were—of His entire redemptive plan.

Before the ages, God had a plan, but it remained hidden (1 Cor. 2:7; Col. 1:26). It wasn’t until Christ died that God’s eternal purpose—and the purpose of manhood, womanhood, and marriage—became clear. Paul connects all the dots in Ephesians. In chapter 3 he explains that the mysterious plan came to light when Jesus Christ died for the church (v. 7). In chapter 5, he correlates the mystery of redemption to male-female sexuality and marriage. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church . . . ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Eph. 5:25-33)

The profound mystery, hidden from eternity past, was that God intended to display the glory of His grace and covenant-keeping love through Jesus Christ, His Son, who laid down His life to redeem and purify His Bride. It cannot be said often enough: When God created male and female, He had the relationship of Christ and His Bride in mind. Men are to reflect the strength, love, and self-sacrifice of Christ. Women are to reflect the character, grace, and beauty of the Bride He redeemed.

We got it wrong. Womanhood is not about displaying my own strength and invincibility. It is for the praise of God’s glory that I am woman.

Creation-Fall-Redemption-Recreation

I find it helpful to think in paradigms, particularly in terms of the biblical sequence creation-fall-redemption-recreation. The glorious vision of the recreation of marriage under and in Christ has expanded my small thoughts on the entire issue, to help lift my eyes off the everyday pettiness and look at my marriage through the lens of the powerful cosmic-sized gospel.

 

    “…when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away” (1 Corinthians 13:10).

Another month is passing away. Thank God. Not only for the massive amounts of unquantifiable grace we have received from him, but also because we are closer to the passing away of this partial age and all of its incumbent sorrow and weariness.

“When the perfect comes.” Those inspired words stir up deep longings for a time we have never known and yet desperately want.

Paul may have been talking about spiritual gifts when he used that phrase in 1 Corinthians 13, but we know because of Romans Eight that “the partial” means so much more. Right now even the best things are not what they should be. And so much goes so very wrong. In this partial age, our bodies, our loved ones, our careers, our creations, our investments, and our plans are all subject to the forces of futility (Romans 8:20). This age is marked more by suffering (8:18), longing (8:19), groaning (8:23), and hope (8:24) than by fulfillment.

So at year’s end, especially if what we feel at its passing is another disappointment, we must remind each other that the partial, this age that is all that we’ve ever known, is passing away and the perfect is coming.

To all you road-weary travelers who have found that the way that leads to life (Matthew 7:14) is harder than you ever imagined, the perfect day of rest is coming (Matthew 11:28).

To all you who find yourself at the end of this year poor in spirit (Matthew 5:3), humbled, desolate, and in desperate need of what only God can provide, the perfect day of the all-abundant kingdom is coming.

To all you who are mourning the loss of a precious one (Matthew 5:4) and finding it hard to press on under the heavy cloak of sorrow, the perfect day of death’s death (1 Corinthians 15:26) is coming.

To all of you who are growing tired in the relentless struggle to hold back the flood of unrighteousness, both from within and without, and who long deeply for a time when all is made right (Matthew 5:6), the perfect day of your satisfaction is coming.

To all of you who have been injured by the maliciousness of another and have responded with a tear-filled mercy (Matthew 5:7), the perfect day of restoration is coming.

To all of you whose soft heart (Matthew 5:8) is tormented over the sin-hardened, sin-infected world around you, the perfectly pure day is coming when you will see what your soul most longs for.

To all of you peacemakers who are blessed of God (Matthew 5:9) and yet find this blessed work heartbreaking, misunderstood, and under appreciated, the perfect day of reconciliation is coming.

To all of you who find yourselves in a disorienting darkness that feels unbearable and wonder if God has abandoned you (Psalm 88:14), the perfect day is coming when the Light, in whom there is no darkness (1 John 1:5), will shine upon you (Numbers 6:25).

And to all of you who increasingly love and long for Jesus’ appearing (2 Timothy 4:8), who have an inconsolable homesickness for a country far better than any that exists here (Hebrews 11:16), your perfect home, a home prepared especially for you (John 14:2), is coming.

When the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. The promised “soon” (Revelation 22:20) is getting sooner. Let us keep encouraging one another with these words (1 Thessalonians 4:18). Let us hold fast to the hope set before us (Hebrews 6:18). And let us press on to know the Lord (Hosea 6:3).

THE DRY BONES WILL RISE AGAIN...

[Ezekiel 37]

And He said to me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord God, You know!

Thus says the Lord God to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath and spirit to enter you, and you shall live;

So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a [thundering] noise and behold, a shaking and trembling and a rattling, and the bones came together, bone to its bone.

This is a powerful prophecy. It is an apt picture of how circumstances in our life, (the death of a loved one) can kill our hope.The life of Peter Kaberere has actually encouraged me on the same,that one day dry bones will rise again.

What word did God give you for your life? Sometimes when we are waiting for the fulfilment of His promises our faith can grow cold. Notice that the bones were in a valley, a place of depression, there was no life in that valley to the extent that the bones were completely dried out.

This is the valley of dead, dry bones (Ez 37). The Spirit carries the prophet, pregnant with God’s Word ‘shut in his bones’. God shall trust the people with visions of revival and they shall call others to see. He that sees first and moves with the vision… that is the leader of men. The vision may tarry, but the God that gives it is faithful and the leaders of revival shall not be disappointed. According to God’s Word, the vision shall eventually confirm itself, ‘it shall speak at last!’

Every morning my passion for revival has made me ‘crazy’ for Jesus.

He was a preacher and Prophet not an undertaker. He was in the spirit. He was not carnal. He knew how to walk in the Spirit so as not to fulfill the desires of the flesh. Even, the hand of the Lord was upon him. Yet he was found in the valley full of dry bones. How can such a person be found in the midst of dry bones? Dry bones were found in the valley he was carried to by the Spirit of the Lord.

But why would God allow such to happen to an annointed preacher and prophet? Why not in the midst of the rich and influential? Why not even in the midst of the poor so he could minister to them? A lot of questions could be pondered about but God the almighty knew better.

It is gratifying that the story didn’t end in the valley of dry bones.

There is a great message for you today from the throne of grace. The message will emerge from the scriptural passage in Ezekiel 37.

‘The hand of the Lord was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones’ (Verse1)

I therefore charge you by the word of God to prophecy now into those situations. The power in the word of God shall cause the dry bones to reconnect and reunite until life is restored into those circumstances.

Open your mouth now and begin to speak the word of God to those situations. That is your hope. That is your power. That is your opportunity. Use it now!

Mountains,its time to move

I had a revelation yesterday morning. It was one of those moments when someone says something and the words seem to jump at you in 3-D.

I was watching “The 700 Club” as I always do on weekdays when I’m getting dressed, and they were featuring the testimony of a couple who came to Christ. The two of them had been heavy drug users early in their marriage, and to support their increasingly expensive habit, the husband sold drugs as well. In the process of selling drugs, he was on the road a lot, and began to have affairs. Drugs controlled his life for more than 2 decades.

His wife went to a Christian rehab center to get clean, and began to study the word of God. And she began to pray for her husband. But she did more than pray…she began to “call those things that do not exist as though they do.” She began to call her husband a mighty man of God, even though he was the farthest thing from that. He continued to use drugs and deal. He was finally caught, and sentenced to 15 years in prison. While in prison, He met the Lord, and was completely set free of all his addictions. He was released less than 2 years later.

Today he is precisely what his wife began to call him…a mighty man of God.

That was my revelation…this verse out of Romans:

(as it is written, “A father of many nations have I made you”) in the sight of Him whom he believed, even God, who gives life to the dead and calls the things which do not exist as existing. (Romans 4:17b)

Romans is a very complex book, and packed full of information. It would be easy to read past this. But if God gives us His power to give life to the dead–which He does and has–why then could we not call the things which do not exist as existing? As long as we know that we are praying absolutely within His will, we can boldly call those things into existence.

I often strive in prayer over my children. In a world that is dark and getting darker, I know the influences on them are huge. So my words in prayer are many; it’s as though I don’t want to leave any stones unturned. But yesterday clarity came into my mind. I could simply begin to call my friends mighty women of God in faith, knowing that that is completely within God’s will. And it will be done.

This might seem too simplistic for some people. But here’s the difference between striving in prayer and “calling those things that do not exist as though they do”: the first ”hopes all things,” while the other “believes all things.” The second actually pictures that reality, sees it as God sees it in the future. This, I believe, is the kind of faith that truly pleases God. Because when we call it into existence, we agree with His will and trust in the power He has given us. We truly believe Him. We are expecting His will to be done “on earth as it is in heaven.”

How wonderful it is that God makes it so simple for us. Faith.

“…for truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you.” (Matthew 17:20b)

So look at your mountains differently today. Take faith and tell them to move. And continue to tell them until they do. Because nothing is impossible to you.

Does A Coffee Date Mean FRIEND-LATIONSHIPS?

“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment”. – Mr. Darcy,Pride and Prejudice.

For the past few days, I feel like the process of having our minds be renewed, as well as the rest of us, is being heavily impressed upon me. At church on Sunday, the preacher discussed the importance of using our intellects to dissect and address the doubts that faith can so often bring to the surface. I had a conversation just yesterday with someone who pointed out that so many of our insecurities rest in the fact that our minds and thoughts are not being continuously brought under the lordship of Christ. And now, this idea was brought to my attention when I thought about how one’s imagination (especially for ladies) affects dating and the path to marriage.

Arguably, the fact that there can be so much confusion when it comes to the beginning stages of a relationship, especially within Christian circles, does little to help the situation. Again, because of various books and teachings promoted recently in the Christian community, the process of moving from friend to date is fuzzy and can almost seem intrusive. Take, for example, the coffee date, using two made up examples.

Sheila is a bright, bubbly woman who has a lot of friends within her church and really does seek to honor the Lord in everything she does. Mike is also a strong believer, but he’s quieter and a bit more reflective than Sheila. Sheila and Mike are friends – nothing more. Mike thinks Sheila’s cute, but he doesn’t really see the need to make a move and ruin a good thing. Besides, he’s not quite sure that he’s ”ready” for a relationship. Sheila, on the other hand, thinks Mike’s great and wonders why he just can’t see how great they’d be together! So eventually, they have a wee chat after church one day, and Sheila brings up the book they are reading together, along with a few other friends. She suggests they grab a coffee to discuss it, so Mike agrees. They leave and plan for Saturday, when they go to a local coffee shop, drink coffee latte(at least, Sheila does) and use the guise of their common reading to dig a little deeper into the other person’s thoughts. Mike decides that he should pay for Sheila’s drink, since his mother used to tell him that that’s what good guys do. So Sheila takes the drink and spends the rest of the “date” floating because she’s convinced this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship. And while unassuming Mike is talking about his opinions on how to fight against idolatry, Sheila is imagining their future life together in their hometown, Malindi with two kids. Once their time is over, Mike thinks that it was a great experience – he got to talk to Sheila in a more one-on-one setting, and she didn’t have any expectations at all! He just knows that she understands that it’s just a friends thing, because it’s safer that way. Meanwhile, Sheila gets home and checks her phone every hour just to see if Mike has left a little cutesy text message for her. He never does, and Sheila gets angry. And then hurt. And Mike doesn’t understand why she doesn’t seem as happy to see him when they see each other at church the next day.

Clearly, this is an example of miscommunication in addition to the main issue at hand. However, there’s something deeper going on. Sheila’s expectations are so high for the coffee date that she ascribes her own (at that time, unrealistic) desires for the situation onto Mike, who is oblivious to them and has his own understanding of what’s going on. This speaks a lot to the problem of “friend-lationships” that are going on in the church in full force these days, but that’s for another time. Essentially, there are two ways that the “coffee date” can be turned into a vehicle for mass confusion and dashed expectations.

The first is to assume that the coffee date means more than what it is. But that is dangerous thinking, and will and often does lead to bitterness and resentment towards the unsuspecting other person. Additionally, some people might get nervous by the prospect if they’re not sure if they’re interested in the other person - does their date think that they’re going to automatically want to be in a relationship?! No, I don’t think that should be the case. There should be freedom and openness with these situations; a commitment does not come from just one coffee date, and it is unhealthy to put such high expectations on just one interaction.

The second confusion-enhancing aspect of the “coffee date” is to treat coffee dates as if they are less than what they are. Guys, this probably pertains most to you. If you ask a woman on a date, even if it’s coffee, it’s best to be honest and upfront with your intentions.